Lamb!

This morning in the sunny, early-spring work of chores - I saw a lamb on the hillside. I was not expecting it! Never had my sheep lambed so early, and to see this guy peaking out of the sheep shed with his mother Brick, was encouraging. The farm keeps going. The seasons keep changing. It's my job as steward to keep it appeased as they do. With winter nearly behind us (though I do expect more snow before daffodils) I feel tougher than I have going into any other spring. I treaded water for years unsure of how I could pull this life off. Instead of panicking I always found a way - be it changing how I make a living or changing how I live. For example, when I bought this farm I had a new truck with a huge monthly payment and insurance bill. It cost over $400 to own and drive that beast. Now I own a truck outright and pay $48 bucks a month insurance wise. Other things like giving up a cell phone and its costs, using firewood instead of oil heat, bartering whenever possible, and focusing on design and illustration instead of fighting for a new book deal - all of this is adapting for the love of a dream. The sun is out this morning. My pony is starting to shed. Soon I hope for days of saddles and archery practice and river swims in the evenings. But to have those things means doing the work to keep it. There is no free lunch. I'm a One Woman Farm with a mortgage and college debt and the expense of owning a home all one one set of shoulders. Those shoulders used to be forever slumped. Now they are held back. I made it this far. This is home.

Yesterday I got a letter from the bank throwing down a timeline (one month) to gather a certain amount of payments to stop foreclosure. It was scary. But it wasn't a red letter saying to move out. I have some time. I have skills in design and illustration and an ebook coming out soon. I have wits and friends and people who love me. Most importantly, I have a life I love and that I am willing to work to keep. Right now I have a daily income goal set and a plan. I'll be promoting logos and illustrations like nuts on social media, so unfollow me if that is bothersome to you. Here on the blog I'll keep it more about the daily farm life. The only reason I don't post here is because I am stressed out and can't focus on writing for pleasure about a place I am afraid of losing. As my morale and hope rises, so do the words here. In this case I might have to fake it till I make it, but that's okay. There are lambs and seed packets here. There is enough optimism to sink an airship. There's me. And I am one tough woman.

(P.S. Lamb naming contest going on over at twitter!)