Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The In-Between

I drove home under a thousand stars. Maybe it's the older glass, or maybe it was just the size of the cab, but the sky looks bigger from the bench seat of an '89 F150.

I was listening to Lord Huron and could not stop smiling. The moon was so large, and as I drove past School House Pond it created the line of reflection usually reserved for postcards and movies. Sometimes this world is so goddamned beautiful. I never grow tired of realizing that.

This is an in-between time for me. I'm in-between books, in-between jean sizes, in-between falling in love, in-between stages of me. So much possibility and potential is ahead. So many stories to learn and tell. I am excited. I was so glad to be on this particular road, on this particular night, with the people and places that have fallen into my luck. I can't shake the feeling of how much better things are going to turn out, how the struggling times are behind me. How change is running right beside this old truck on this perfect night like a dark animal.

I get these hints all the time.

Hints like the way the wind caught under Anna Kendrick's feathers and she maneuvered just right at the last minute to land perfectly on my fist. She looked up after that trick of wind and so did I. Above us were at least 30 crows, circling and silent. They came out of nowhere. We were just a bend in the trail from an open pasture perfect for rabbit hunting. But the crows weren't focused on us. Confused,  I gripped her jesses a little tighter as we rounded to the opening in the trail and there was a huge bald eagle, just above us,. She was being chased by the murder. I had never been more grateful for quiet crows. They were chasing away the eagle that would have chased Anna to death had they not warned us. We skated.

And other hints, too, like the time I rode Merlin up a winding trail and doe spooked us. Instead of running away she ran alongside us and Merlin moved so fast to race her I didn't have time to be scared. My body just knew what to do, trained by hours on the trails. Heels down, head leaning over his strong neck, body tense, ready to fly. The deer skirted away to the right and those five seconds will always be perfect. I am over panicking at what is scary. My body knows what to do now.

It's this place, these animals, this luck. It's the new friends and these cold, holy nights. It's the knowing that so many good things, amazing people, challenges and familiar seasons will be holding my hand in this coming year. I love the uncertainty and get drunk on that hope.

There are seeds and chicks, piglets and lambs, miles to run and trails to explore. There's a better me in every sense and the good friends who raise their glasses beside me as this winter howls down to a dull growl under sheets. There is no other person in this world I would rather be, regardless of how scary that can be at times. But I know now to look up, to lean forward, to keep moving and win those races against wild odds. I can see the signs, beat the edge, and am ready for what is ahead.

 I can take a hint.

18 Comments:

Blogger Janet Hamilton said...

Magical! Beautiful writing!

January 27, 2016 at 11:01 PM  
Blogger Ngo Family Farm said...

Yes, Jenna!! Hold tight to that hope and the whisper of those signs. Your best is surely still yet to come.
-Jaime

January 27, 2016 at 11:03 PM  
Blogger Imagine you will fly... said...

I love that Jenna ... In-Between are the best times. In-Between are the times of miracles ... the times when we're waking up before falling asleep again ...
keep on flying ... may you always 'land safely'!

January 28, 2016 at 12:41 AM  
Blogger Lilbitbrit said...

I enjoyed your thoughts on where you are and glad things are moving along in the right direction. Lovely descriptions.

January 28, 2016 at 4:36 AM  
Blogger Mary Schroeder said...

lovely

January 28, 2016 at 5:56 AM  
Blogger Christina Rodriguez said...

When I slow down, I feel it too. Beautiful words.

January 28, 2016 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger Allison said...

Oh I love Lord Huron! And the feeling you describe is one I've glimpsed at times and it's a great reminder to be on the lookout and be available for those moments of beauty, adrenaline, and inspiration.

January 28, 2016 at 9:16 AM  
Blogger Andria M said...

Wonderful writing. I love your way with words. You write like no one else I've ever read. Thank you

January 28, 2016 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger Melinda Ruth said...

Beautiful Post!

January 28, 2016 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Being Grown Doesn't Mean You Stop Growing said...

Such a beautiful post! I've read several of your books. I'm a 60 year old grandmother and live in a subdivision across the road from cows and horses in a little Alabama farming town. Your writing brings out the farm girl in my heart. Although I can't have farm animals, I am growing more vegetables (but fewer flowers) these days. My passion is growing and drying herbs. This past Christmas I was determined to give homemade gifts instead of buying them. Friends and family were given jars of homegrown pickles, relishes and strawberry jam (made from locally grown strawberries). The most popular gifts were small jars of dried herbs for cooking and for teas. The herb gifts were a sort of coming out for me. I have friends who are very supportive of my endeavors and encourage me to sell them. I also have several family members who aren't. Their thoughts are why go through the hassle when you can buy it! Perhaps one day they'll understand.
Thank you for your thoughts and writings. They keep me inspired to pursue my passions.

January 28, 2016 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Goose Goose said...

These in-between times ARE the times.
This IS your life.
WELCOME.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HLxpWGCzc

January 28, 2016 at 8:38 PM  
Blogger Karen from CT said...

Your words make my heart sing-thanks for sharing all that you do.

January 28, 2016 at 8:39 PM  
OpenID milesawayfarm said...

This is simply a stunning piece of writing. I sent it to a friend of mine who just had breast cancer surgery. Beautiful.

January 28, 2016 at 11:49 PM  
Blogger jules said...

Thank you for Lord Huron!

January 29, 2016 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger kz. said...

so moving. I too have felt in-between, almost-but-not-yet coiled to spring, somehow; but I wasn't able to articulate it until reading this. thanks for your words.

January 29, 2016 at 1:35 PM  
Blogger jenomnibus said...

Gorgeous writing Jenna!

January 29, 2016 at 10:32 PM  
Blogger bookkm said...

This! Needed this.

January 31, 2016 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Chelsea Tarver said...

I somehow missed this post and I am glad I went perusing the archive because this was lovely and much-needed for me right now. Stay strong

February 12, 2016 at 6:18 PM  

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