Monday, August 3, 2015

Thoughts on Foods I Hate.

A Super Serious List I Really, Really, Really Mean.
So Serious.
I'm in a blazer and pumps as I type this.
That Serious.

Cilantro. Dish soap can have cellulose. Who knew?

Radishes. If I wanted to eat frozen cardboard I'd do it.

Market Fish. Smells dead, tastes dead. Pass.

Lobster. You are bug meat soaked in salt water.

Parsley. How does it feel to be a trophy wife?
You taste like low self esteem.

Oysters. Just stop it. Stop it.

Liver. You filter garbage. You are what you eat.

Shrimp. You are a bottom feeder lined with your own fecal matter and everyone acts like that's okay.
It's not okay.

Olives. You can go straight to hell.

23 Comments:

Blogger Jenna Woginrich said...

Goose Goose, I deleted your comment by accident. post again!

August 3, 2015 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

okra…one slice ruins everything

August 3, 2015 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger Mel Baker said...

I don't think I will ever be able to eat shrimp again!! Seriously funny!!

August 3, 2015 at 11:09 PM  
Blogger Sherry Lee said...

I agree about cilantro. Why does it taste like soap?

August 3, 2015 at 11:12 PM  
Blogger Sherry Lee said...

I agree about cilantro. Why does it taste like soap?

August 3, 2015 at 11:13 PM  
Blogger Kat @ Where the Sidewalk Ends said...

I respect you and think you are a bit of a weirdo for not liking olives. That said, I will definitely take your olives and oysters. Just let me know.

August 3, 2015 at 11:37 PM  
Blogger Betty Catherine said...

That's so funny. I happy to love bugs soaked in salt water. :)

August 4, 2015 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger Jason Alexander Collins said...

I always thought my list of hated foods was a set of random preferences until I found out that all of them except for mayonnaise have a particular flavor compound: petroselinic acid. It's in caraway seeds, carrots, parsnips, and parsley, and celery; just about everything I don't care for.

August 4, 2015 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger mdoe37 said...

I just recently ate radish in a salad for the first time, I'm now 51. Wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated, but no way alone. Ew. I celebrated my 40th birthday by not picking cucumber off a salad.

Since I now have access to real fish, no market fish. How do those people work behind that stink all day, really?

I can take or leave lobster, over priced, over rated. Oysters, right up there with sushi...raw eel? Only if there is a promotion and bonus attached. (There was and I did) I do eat shrimp....typically removing the fecal matter. I do like king crab legs....usually out of the budget.

Olives....mmmm

Liver....Beef, chicken, and yes bear liver... Have eaten liver since I was a child ( and a picky one at that). I figure its a filter for all the nutrients and therefore must be better.

Things I would never grab and eat? Watermelon and fresh tomatoes. Its gotta be a texture thing. Tomatoes small in salad, yes after 40 too, or cooked in something.

Watermelon is crunchy stagnant water.

zucchini has its limitations. It has no character but for bacon, onions and butter.

Beer, no. And I live in a brewing mecca right now. Maybe an Angry Orchard.

****

And while I drink milk I really try not to think about it....a bovine excretion.




August 4, 2015 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger mgardener said...

Although I love cilantro, I do think it smells more like a crush stink bug than soap.

August 4, 2015 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

L O L

August 4, 2015 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger seagoddess said...

f-ing kale!

August 4, 2015 at 2:07 PM  
Blogger Goose Goose said...

ColoGoose take 2:

......And action.......

Salatin is coming to Aspen, CO this week. Worth the drive, just like driving to the coast for lobsta. Worth it. :) Cheers.

Here's to the gooseness of the goose!! Have a great week.

August 4, 2015 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Goose Goose said...

ColoGoose take 2:

......And action.......

Salatin is coming to Aspen, CO this week. Worth the drive, just like driving to the coast for lobsta. Worth it. :) Cheers.

Here's to the gooseness of the goose!! Have a great week.

August 4, 2015 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Mundi said...

Guess we have to agree to disagree. I love it ALL !!

August 4, 2015 at 8:17 PM  
Blogger Johollister said...

Yanno,honey is basically bee vomit. Mead is fermented bee puke heheh. And so yummy. There are very few things I won't at least try, and I happily eat everything on your list. However, there is one vegetable that defeated me. Borage. Borage is revolting, it tastes like hairy old fish. We grew quite a bit of it one year, and having heard it was edible, I tried like hell to make it eatable. Nope. Only if there was a very small amount in a large and very spicy curry dish. We eventually put the rest of it in the compost.

August 5, 2015 at 6:43 AM  
Blogger Goose Goose said...

google'ing' yanno, borage, mead etc.

read'ing' Bucolic Plague. I see a pattern in the book you've suggested! haha. I am enjoying this one so much. Trying to decide how to live/ work in Essex so I can have all-you-can-eat farm food for a year or more.....looking at the map, deciding where to move. Bedford with Martha will be fine with me!

August 5, 2015 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Just found your blog and have to agree with all your food choices! Bananas revolt me too--aren't we all fussy!

August 5, 2015 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger gothicmuse said...

I agree with you on everything, but 1) radishes. The little red ones I can take or leave, but daikon radishes are really large, mild and make great cracker substitutes for toppings or hummus dippers... 2)Parsley. It is my go-to sub for cilantro and the black swallow-tail butterflies use it as a food source, so I plant lots and take little. 3) Shrimp. Yes, their bowels are potentially (rarely) left in, but I have shrimp so infrequently that I enjoy them when I do.

Foods that I never had as a child, but discovered (and loved) as an adult are red sweet peppers, cream cheese and brussel sprouts. Foods I've tried and cannot like are: okra (any way), anchovies (unless a tiny ingredient in a sauce), sardines (especially served on a cracker..), most fish (I got a bone stuck in my throat as a child and live in fear of a repeat..)

Great list, Jenna.

August 6, 2015 at 2:30 PM  
Blogger sarah e blog said...

wow you just listed all my faves..

August 9, 2015 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger sarah e blog said...

all of my favorites..

August 9, 2015 at 9:00 PM  
Blogger Goose Goose said...

I was thinking.....
......the section in the book "This Dirty Life", the part when she says, 'he made slices of liver for me, we drank wine, and we made love afterwards.....' ya that part. It sounded MUCH better in the book.

I made pig liver last night. (GIANT, btw) Grown in Boulder by a pig who was raised beyond humanely.....(and now have many slices of cooked-but-frozen pig liver in the freezer)

It was not love-making material. I took one bite an spit it out. gag-ola.

My audience/dinner guests enjoyed it, deep fried in onions and a stick of butter, with boiled-then-fried potatoes, tomato slices drizzled with dressing, and carrots/green beans.

I survived the vege's but thought I was going to die tasting the liver. G.R.O.S.S.

Take my word for it. Wine could not have fixed it.

p.s. I'm sending you something, tho not cassettes. I can't find them.

August 9, 2015 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Ginny said...

LOL. We all have our issues with certain tastes...

August 10, 2015 at 12:33 PM  

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