Sunday, April 5, 2015

Where I Started

This is going to be a musical post. That means that I would like you to play the music here. Click "here" and another window will pop up with a song. Once the ad is skipped and the song has begun, you minimize the music link and just set your volume so you can hear the music and read at the same time. This is a post about this morning. It deserves the right backup. Got it? I thank you in advance.

I woke up and the sun was shining. Real sun. Not the winter sun that glows behind frosted glass and bounces off ice to bite our eyes, but the sun that heats soil and moves water. The house was cold enough to see my breath but I didn't care. I can't remember ever feeling so warm. It is spring. To wake up to a farm not covered with snow and bathed in dancing rays is enough to send me tripping on Vitamin D.

Gibson was against me in bed, as he has been since he was a puppy. I smiled and kissed his head and in return he curled his spine, pushing back into my chest and covering his head with his paws. That is border collie for "five more minutes". My smile grew wider and I turned over on my back to look outside the window over the daybed. A pair of crows were watching, perhaps ten feet away.  I laughed and Gibson stretched all his limbs out and turned his head to look too. He saw the crows and knew not to bark. We don't heckle angels around here.

Light and laughter literally started this morning.
There is no greater blessing than a pair of crows to this farm.
It was going to be a beautiful day.
That decision was made right there.

I turned on the record player. It is such an old beast, but it has such an amazing scratch and crawl. New music on an old machine enchants me. It speeds up my endorphins as much as hugging black fur and drinking light. I put on this record you are hearing now. Old Annie stretched and yawned. I looked for heavy socks to protect my feet from the shock of cold wood and set a percolator and kettle on the stove. I started a fire to warm up the living space.

I am a volunteer for light. Sunlight, firelight, candlelight, musiclight - that is how to begin a morning. Victory was let out of his crate and he ran to me,  tail wagging. I poured warm kettle water into a bottle of lamb formula. Once it was ready I sat by the fire and fed him. It is Easter morning and I am woke kissing wolves, mothering lambs, and blessed by crows. I know to some people a farm is a fortress or a prison. To others it is an empire or a career. These are choices for fools.

This wonderful mess of a farm and woman, is light. I know that angers people still looking for their own light. Some people search for it in passports, credit cards, and sex. Others have no idea where to begin. That's one way to live but my light is here. A light I fought to catch and store in a mason jar one firefly at a time. So many disparate points of light needed to be hunted one by one and then held in my hand before they could fill a farmhouse with enough to read prayers by. I used to see that as a burden - needing to collect income, energy, and hope a from so many small things to turn into one farm life. How could I have ever seen a jar of swirling light as anything but beautiful? Why did I choose such a foolish idea?

One of the greatest things you can realize is you don't have to believe everything you think.

So this day will be started with music and coffee. It will continue with chores and then a jog long and hard enough to make my head pound and stomach turn. That is benediction, too. I do not work on design clients or any deadlines on Sundays. This is a day for horses and arrows. It is a day for dogs and fiddles. It is a day to invite friends over for games, whiskey, and stories. It is a day to stop and actually realize what is happening all around me. A day to feel a heavy horse move beneath my legs as I hug his neck. A day to inhale lamb wool. A day to run until my heart bursts. A day to realize that the light around me - all those fireflies  - are not here because of chance or luck or the blessing of corvids. They are there because I asked them to be.

Ask for light.
What are you waiting for?
Call your dog.
Grab your reins.
String your bow.
Ask for light.
Catch it and hold fast.
Love it enough to tear you apart.

These are the places I will always go.


Blogger Cat H said...

Nice. Thank you for those beautiful words. Love ya.

April 5, 2015 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Carrie Drake said...

an inspiration to light in snowy Southern Ontario today...loved your post.

April 5, 2015 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

And just always remember in this Easter season to be thankful to HIM who created all that you live and enjoy. HE loves you.

April 5, 2015 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger mel said...

it's always about choice isn't it? choice + action.....

still, i'll always take the blessing of crows...and swans, as the case may be. ;) never hurts to catch a godwink along the way...

i needed to read/hear this today, of all days...thank you. :)

April 5, 2015 at 10:08 AM  
Blogger Angela Lingard said...

Thank you, again, Jenna!

Between your words and the song, my spirit lifted. Sometimes I need a reminder of what's important in life. The world has a way of brining us down if we allow it! This time, your quote, "One of the greatest things you can realize is you don't have to believe everything you think,", really struck a cord.

Have a blessed day, my friend!

April 5, 2015 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger heather kathleen said...

You are a firefly of light to us.

April 5, 2015 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Christine Marble said...

Happy Easter to you (and Gibson and Merlin and Victory and all of the life you support.)

April 5, 2015 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Beautifully said, Jenna. Great music choice too! I feel very inspired by it. I think I too need to institute a day for appreciation and joyfulness. Thank you for that as well.

April 5, 2015 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Mel Baker said...

Happy Easter, to you and your farm family. Woke up to 4 inches of snow this morning with more on the way. Please send me some Spring.

April 5, 2015 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger Molly Piper said...

You are a brilliant and beautiful girl, Jenna. Much appreciated.

April 5, 2015 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger English sheep gal said...

Bravo! Great words / music combo, snowing in Wales, NY today but we had a teaser of sunnier warmer weather last week.

We had a spirit lift last night, by watching Big Easy Express musical movie you recommended ages ago, for about the 10th time, we just love it! Singing along with all the songs from 3 of my fave bands really cheered me up. I just know you are having a great day.

Lamb pics please! and Gibson update, back legs any better with rest?

April 5, 2015 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Jenna Woginrich said...

Gibson is doing much better, much much. Still not allowed to do as much but healing. Will probably go in for x rays soon if he doesn't heal 100%

April 5, 2015 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger John Wooldridge said...

Pretty new to your blog m'dear and this post has just about blown me away, thankyou so very much for such beauty.

April 5, 2015 at 5:08 PM  
Blogger sassypants said...


April 5, 2015 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger Lisa Nigro said...

You are right...the music made this whole blog post beyond delicious. Thank you.

April 5, 2015 at 7:44 PM  
Blogger deodar said...

To you I offer the prayer of St. Patrick:
The power of God to uphold me
The might of God to protect me
The wisdom of God to teach me
The eyes of God to watch over me
The ears of God to hear me
To this I pledge myself this day
I'm not a religious person but this
never fails to remind me of what is actually important in life.

April 5, 2015 at 7:46 PM  
Blogger Erik said...

Nice to read these words on this cold and windy day out here in the west. I was thinking along these same lines yesterday evening when two hours of yard/chicken work and some fresh local goat milk had me happier than I'd been in weeks. Slowly but steadily...

April 5, 2015 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger Pamela Hatheway said...


April 6, 2015 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Peacemom said...

The beauty in your words warmed my weary heart today. Lovely post, really and having the music accompany was a great idea.
Blessings to you and the farm, Jenna. I love the way you take the time to appreciate the wonder all around you. I need to do more of the same here. ~Vonnie

April 6, 2015 at 6:46 PM  

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