The Community. The Whole Story.
While it is none of my business if you do or do not read this blog, it is my business to explain why you don't hear about what I do for others. The reason: privacy and humility. I will never write about the things I do for others who do not want their lives public on the internet. Nor will I share the things I didn't write about because I was too tired from a day of moving 300 bales of hay, butchering someone else's chicken dinner, or was worried talking about helping others was bragging. I was told by a good friend in college "It's not charity if you tell everyone you did it so you can feel better about yourself, that's masturbation." I agree.
To write about the help I get, like in the last 2 vlogs, takes humility and a lack of fear of peer opinion. To write about helping others in a modern world means needing permission, and taking the risk of looking like an arrogant piece of crap.
The email seemed to think that my farm was constantly accepting charity from friends. The reason I have friends who are so kind is because I always do my level best to be as good a friend in return. These people do not have blogs (well, two of them do) and do not write about me buying a personal possession of theirs so they can purchase 20 bales of hay. They do not write about me watching their farms during a funeral, helping clean and cook, herding their turkeys, delivering shots or medicine to stock, sharing supplies and knowledge, or a whole afternoon of physical effort like putting up bales or butchering chickens. You might hear about it from me if I have been granted permission from the parties involved or if you are in our friend loop on Facebook, but besides that all you ever see publicly is my gratitude.
As for winter preparedness - I have never been as prepared for winter as I am now. I have 3 cords of wood outside (damp but there!). I have several "hay banks" where hay is stored for me since I don't have storage. While there are days I need to go an pick up more, it is there and my animals have NEVER missed a single meal. Ever. I did not ask for the gift of the firewood in the last videos posted, it was gifted by friends who had no fireplace or wood stove and wanted to visit/deliver it. Why? Because we are friends who share meals, games, and stories together.
I am a public person who shares a very, very, small part of this story. Unless you are a part of my life you do not know 80% of what happens here in the community, among friends, and on this farm. I am also a person who feels people should be thanked when they help me and the farm. But the reason I have this support to begin with is because of the cycle of support this community has built. I am a part of that community. Damned proud to be. And what I ask for as a blogger is some fair understanding that you only see the vulnerable writer who writes/vlogs only at her most emotional times in her life, good or bad, and not the entire picture of everyday life.
That said. Big plans for this summer. BIG PLANS. Poultry and pigs, workshops and books being published, stories and songs, camps and archery. There is a large story here and I will do my best to tell the whole of it better. Perhaps that email is my own fault, for only showing that side of it during this emotional time in my life? For that is something I remedy now.
photo by Tara Alan of goingslowly.com