Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sleep Naked

The best lessons I learned in the past few years:

If you have the urge to correct someone for a statement that makes them happy or excited and isn't hurting anyone, don't. All it does is make them feel embarrassed and you sound like an asshole.

Silence is better than 99% certainty.

Everyone is going through a different kind of hard time. Never assume the poor are scared, the rich are happy, the married are in love, or the loners are lonely.

If Sriracha is an option - opt for it.

Most people would rather be hurt than bored.

When people tell you you can't do something that doesn't harm yourself or others picture them saying it while buying adult diapers.

Frowning people driving past you in air conditioning should make you jog faster.

Mistakes leave scars, regrets leave wounds.

Community seasons 1-3 is the best comedy writing on network television, ever. Do yourself a favor and watch all of that.

Nice derives from Latin, it means ignorant.

People want sex, food, sleep and hope.
They need encouragement.

If you're going to hit someone, make sure they aren't getting back up soon.

Look up. You never look up.

Fools rush in, but at least they moved forward.

Don't trust men whose only obligations are pets that can be left alone for a weekend.

It's okay to lose friends to entropy.

You don't have to do everything you say you want to do, but you better do some of it.

I'd rather be known for admitting mistakes than avoiding them.

Cat litter: you get what you pay for.

Anyone who tells you violence and suffering should be avoided at all costs are more dangerous than most people realize.

Get hungry.

Smile at strangers.

Forgiveness is a good first choice. A right hook is a decent second, but always follow up with the first choice.

Running is bad for your joints. Diabetes is bad for your everything.

Liberals and conservatives are people that haven't realized yet that punching under water is distraction from the sharks.

Saying you're going to stop eating meat to prevent animal suffering is like saying you're not having children to prevent child abuse. Pacifism doesn't create change. Ever.

Gay rights matter.

You do not have the right to be recreationally offended. You have the privilege, dick.

Don't be a snob about music. It's the worst.

Make the locals nervous.

Sex is not dirty, shameful, or bad - it was made by the creator of fireflies and thunderstorms.

Bourbon is important.

Kale is important.

Put down that goddamned phone.

Guns don't kill people. Lannisters kill people.

If you think public speaking is scary you are grossly underestimating the public's apathy.

Most people who enjoy gory movies have no idea what the inside of a freshly-killed pig smells like.

You have no idea how terrified most people are.

Hug your lover from behind when they are making breakfast on the stove.

Entertainment costs money. Having fun is free.

If you can get a horse, get a horse.

Tennessee is the best state in America. Hands down.

Hats.

Money and time isn't stopping you, but that excuse is.

Food tastes better if you grow it.

Don't hang out with people who don't let dogs in their car. Christ. Just don't.

Happiness is a choice. You need to make it every single minute.

If you and your family would be dead if you were forced to stay home for 2 weeks without electricity or running water you are doing this all wrong.

Religion is not legislation. Legislation is not safety. Law and comfort don't listen, they are reactions.

Don't confuse acquisition with accomplishment.

Play more.

Sleep naked.

Leave the light on.

Visit Elkmont.

Don't prefer to be comfortable. It ruins everything.

You're not a coward if you don't jump out of a plane with your friends. You're a coward if being called a pussy is all it takes to make you.

Eat more meat - less bread.

If you can get a dog, get a dog.

Moving to a new place isn't personal growth, but if it grants perspective it's a start.

Instagram is not required validation, for anything really.

Drink more water.

Never hold back kindness.

Expect good.

Take risks.

And remember to look up. You never look up.

39 Comments:

Blogger Jasmine said...

Oh, Jenna. Every now and then I remember why I adore you.

February 16, 2014 at 11:46 PM  
Blogger Grampy said...

Fun post but if Tennessee is the best state hands down, you have never been to Kentucky.

February 17, 2014 at 2:11 AM  
Blogger Grampy said...

Fun post but if Tennessee is the best state hands down, you have never been to Kentucky.

February 17, 2014 at 2:11 AM  
Blogger Kyler and Sylvia said...

Woohoo to sleeping naked!

February 17, 2014 at 2:21 AM  
Blogger Sparkless said...

Love them all but the one about cat litter made me laugh out loud.

February 17, 2014 at 3:56 AM  
Blogger Kevin and Beth said...

Awesome but I was reading this on my phone so the phone one threw me a little. Too funny!

February 17, 2014 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger lemontreelane said...

Ditto with Kevin and Beth! (grin)

February 17, 2014 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Ohiofarmgirl said...

i read the title as "Sheep Naked" and i was all.. "its not time to shear sheep".... apparently i must get off farm. soon.

February 17, 2014 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Molly said...

Ok, I'm stumped by this one:

"Anyone who tells you violence and suffering should be avoided at all costs are more dangerous than most people realize."

What does this mean?

February 17, 2014 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Brooke Lowry said...

Oh, Jenna! This made my day!

February 17, 2014 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Thanks all!

February 17, 2014 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

I have been to Kentucky. My statement stands :)

February 17, 2014 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Molly, what I meant by that was there are times when suffering or violence is necessary, a part of mature and responsible living - be it protection of self or loved ones, to take a life to sustain your own (i.e. killing a carrot or a deer), or to save many from evil.

February 17, 2014 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger a.rogue (Alice) said...

Thanks Jenna , great list :) I smile at strangers all the time - with varied results, but I keep on doing it!

February 17, 2014 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger Amy Smith Linton said...

Darned old Lannisters!
Cheap kitty litter!
Yes to horse!

Thanks for this compilation of "lessons learned'!
I need to look up. I never look up.

February 17, 2014 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Ha! This made my entire morning. And I needed that, desperately.

February 17, 2014 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Providence Acres Farm said...

Some of these are really good! Here's one that I learned:
"Dull women have immaculate homes."

February 17, 2014 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Sylvan said...

BEST POST EVER, Jenna and I've read them all!!

February 17, 2014 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger mdoe37 said...

Re: Cat Litter

You've obviously met my cat Remington...or his Latin name Remicus Farticus

Re; Providence Acres on the Dull Women...

You've met my mother.

Excellent Post! I think it calls for some fancy font and fancy paper in a frame...as a reminder.

February 17, 2014 at 7:17 PM  
OpenID theoverallgardener.com said...

I love posts like this! Great list :)

February 17, 2014 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger Elle Cashen said...

Awesome!

February 17, 2014 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger macbew said...

Jenna, I love this list, but I agree with Grampy. ;)

February 17, 2014 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

That was wonderful!

February 18, 2014 at 9:02 AM  
OpenID peihome said...

Love the first one. The rest are good, too. However, while my dogs are allowed in the 'farm' car, they are not allowed in the 'good' car. And this is the way it shall always be...
Until the 'farm' car dies, and the 'good' car turns into the 'farm' car, hahahahaha.

February 18, 2014 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger Lone Pine Farm said...

Thank you for this great list!!!!! I am still in a bit of a winter slump - I feel like I am barely keeping up - but this has motivated me to take a leap, try something new, be happy with where I am and what I have and who is around me, and yes... look up!
Mandi

February 18, 2014 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

Such a fun post :)

February 18, 2014 at 11:39 PM  
Blogger No Name Farm/Ranch said...

JENNA. DAMN. Love this, and you.

February 19, 2014 at 10:12 AM  
OpenID Sheepy Hollow said...

Well done! Love every word; some I need to do more. I look up often... mostly to see if the hens are in the rafters... nuff said!

February 19, 2014 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger blind irish pirate said...

Cracked me up this gross, melty morning. Kind of what I needed. Mostly because "If Sriracha is an option - opt for it." is not something I would say, but my husband would. And the Lannister thing? Actually chortled at that one.

February 20, 2014 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Karen B. @ Making Shift said...

Oh, YES. And yes and yes and yes... Thank you for this list. "Don't hang out with people who don't let dogs in their car. Christ. Just don't." made me laugh out loud

February 21, 2014 at 9:55 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Excellent.

February 22, 2014 at 8:48 PM  
Blogger damnyankee said...

I love this more than words can say.

February 22, 2014 at 11:04 PM  
Blogger Don Akin said...

Sleep Naked? You never saw my first wife! Right about cat litter and Horses. Montana is great. Kentucky is not.

February 23, 2014 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger Don Akin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 23, 2014 at 12:56 PM  
OpenID milesawayfarm said...

Thanks for this. Could have written most of it, as I've learned a lot of the same lessons. Going to keep a few of these for tag lines at the end of emails.

February 25, 2014 at 12:17 PM  
Blogger BlueCow77 said...

Words to live by: "Guns don't kill people, Lannisters kill people."

February 27, 2014 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger Everley St. Peter said...

awesome list Jenna! you rock sista~

May 19, 2014 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Kentucky Jim said...

Ditto Grampy...

May 19, 2014 at 12:36 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

What if I leave one sock on?

May 19, 2014 at 3:16 PM  

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