Friday, December 14, 2012

road prayers

I didn't hear the news about the children in Connecticut until well into the day, and even then it came the old fashioned way: word of mouth. Mark heard it on the radio on his way home from duck hunting with a friend. He and Patty were talking about it shortly after I arrived at the farm to drive the horses one last time before Merlin returned to Cold Antler. He enjoyed his week at Horse Camp very much.

I don't have much to say beyond this. All afternoon I stayed off Facebook. I did not turn on the radio. I did not look up information online. It was not an aversion due to apathy, either. I am deeply sorry and saddened and my heart goes out to them. I stayed away from the roar of the media because there was nothing I could do but grieve and panic. I was not there to help. I did not know any of the victims. I just knew I didn't want to be one of those people with Cable News live streaming into their TVs to shout the newest updates on death tolls and motives. I do not agree with this celebrity we give to tragedy. It is news the first time you hear it, sadness and silence. It becomes pornography for the fearful shortly after.

I hitched up my horse and said a prayer.

33 Comments:

Blogger seagrrlz said...

I didn't know about it until after I got off work. I am someone who likes to be informed and watch the news but after about 3 minutes, I asked my GF to change the channel bc it made me soo sad. Normally I don't mind emotionally charged stories. I would rather watch and bear witness but the raw emotion on the parents faces tore my heart. It made me cry. Poor defenceless children.

December 14, 2012 at 7:57 PM  
Blogger Linden said...

I agree completely, we went "dark" with radio or Tv or social network or online newspapers. I will watch the news tonight, but much more than that seems like this tragedy porn that has taken over every single bad event that happens.

December 14, 2012 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger David Shearer said...

Well said, Jenna.

December 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

Wish I could have said it half as well. At this point, I just want more Merlin. :-)

December 14, 2012 at 8:31 PM  
Blogger PansWife said...

I understand why you are avoiding the broadcast media, but I've actually been very touched by some of the memorials and conversations on Facebook.

December 14, 2012 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger bookkm said...

Thank you.

December 14, 2012 at 9:22 PM  
Blogger Christee said...

Well said Jenna. I am in agreement with you on how the media gives the heartless person too much attention. The families need to grieve in peace without a camera crew up their ass also.

Many prayers, tears and thoughts for the families, friends & community in CT.

-Christee

December 14, 2012 at 9:27 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dixon said...

Thank you, Jenna... I spent my day scanning the internet for news, but I am chosing to spend my night and my weekend in a way that brings me peace... Not sure what that will be yet, but I can't let myself be sucked into the maelstrom that is our society today.

December 14, 2012 at 9:30 PM  
Blogger Anna Banana said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 14, 2012 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Anna Banana said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 14, 2012 at 11:08 PM  
Blogger Anna Banana said...

I have to respectfully disagree - I'm glued to my television, searching for any little tidbit that would help me understand why something so senseless has happened, to find some little nugget of truth about humanity and how one of us could be capable of murdering innocent children. This isn't the Kardashians, housewives throwing chairs at each other or what some rapper is wearing. I relished every second of time with my children before they went to bed tonight, honoring some wonderful Christmas traditions that my little family is building. My heart is breaking for these families whose lives have been shattered. This isn't tragedy porn, this is seeking to comprehend something that is incomprehensible. It is their truth being reported by the media, what happened in their lives today. As a mother I feel a need to bear witness, as one of your others readers wrote, to absorb some of their pain, be part of the community of mourners around the nation tonight, and tomorrow do my best to protect my children and fight for common sense gun control.

December 14, 2012 at 11:09 PM  
Blogger Morning Glory said...

Reflecting silently in prayer....

December 14, 2012 at 11:16 PM  
Blogger Pit Stop Farm said...

The primary focus of CNN was of the victims, not the shooter. I don't believe any gun control law could have prevented this today, much like other tragedies. To condemn the news channels is unfair as I'm sure there are people from that community who want to stay informed and know everything they can. As a parent, my heart breaks for the families involved. I'm usually against most things propagated by the news such as creating false hysteria in regards to most pit bull incidents. For this however, many of us just want answers. I firmly believe there are always warning signs that go unnoticed. It's these mental health issues that must be brought to light and addressed. If the news can assist even slightly with that then I'm in support of their work. I recognize of course that there are broadcasts which are less than tasteful and merely strive for shock value.
My thoughts and prayers to every single family and child involved. Hug your children tighter tonight.

December 14, 2012 at 11:50 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

I'm with you, Anna Banana. Maybe for us moms, it's a little different.

December 14, 2012 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger just look said...

My daughter is a kindergarten teacher in a small, rural school district. She is the sort of person who both frightens me sometimes with her brazen tenacity to deal with challenging children, parents, school board members, and other staff, then swells me with warm pride knowing that she, like your Gibson, understands perfectly her role in this world. She's an amazing teacher. Tonight she and I spoke by phone to reconnect and talk through the process she and her school have to keep her children safe. She mentioned how she practices with her kids to "hum inside their heads", as a way to maintain calm in a potential storm. There are so many wounded, broken souls walking this planet. We are either those who believe we are sharing this planet together, and will step forward to lend a hand, (and maybe a voice to work towards better gun control enforcement, and maybe even better service for mental illness coverage), or we turn and think more about individual needs. We will each choose.

December 15, 2012 at 12:16 AM  
Blogger RuralLegend said...

This is the best thing I've read today. It also helps put words to how I've felt. Thank you.

December 15, 2012 at 1:08 AM  
Blogger Moose Hollow Farm said...

I did the same as you, Jenna. After hearing about the tragedy on talk radio, I watched a brief newscast on tv & shut everything off. I have 5 grandsons (2 are the age of the babies killed yesterday ~ 5 years old). I was shaking all day and I couldn't wait to get my grandsons off the school bus. All are safe and sound. God Bless Heaven's new angels and their grieving families.

December 15, 2012 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Mary Schroeder said...

agreed

December 15, 2012 at 6:13 AM  
Blogger Holly U said...

Very well said.

December 15, 2012 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger The Bee Lady said...

This happened two towns over from me, 30 minutes from my house. Everyone knows someone affected by this tragedy and I too, had to turn off the news. It was completely overwhelming. Sometime over the next two days, I'll stop by the firehouse where everyone is gathering and drop off the only thing that I can think of, tissues. Lots of tissues.

December 15, 2012 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger wanda barrett said...

Absolutely agree with Jenna on this one. Although I seldom follow any news, I understand the temptation to read the details and try to figure out why these things happen, but there is no truth to be learned from senseless tragedy.

December 15, 2012 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger bree said...

I so agree with your view of how media covers tragedy Jenna. It's just too much.

December 15, 2012 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Squirrel said...

Amen Jenna.

December 15, 2012 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger redbird said...

Respectfully disagree as well about the pornography for the fearful (which sounds quite vulgar). Teacher perspective and parent perspective much different in this matter. I’m so glad I didn’t hear about this until after the school day was done and my kids were on their way home. The school day is so very busy not one staff member or administrator where I work had any down time to hear this news until about 3:30. I don’t cry easily over much of anything let alone things that happen so far away, but I did as soon as I heard this news as I thought about the teachers and students in Connecticut and the horror they went through, and I'm sure I would have had a hard time keeping composure in front of my class. I have not been glued to the media, but I listen to news of the tragedy out of respect for fellow teachers and also because I feel it’s my job working with young children in a school to stay informed about what happened so that I can address concerns of my students and parents that are sure to come up in the best way possible. The media has been very sensitive to the victims…at least the one I am taking in. Everyone handles such things in their own way due to their circumstances.

December 15, 2012 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger redhorse said...

Kindergarteners are my very favorite creatures in the world. Still so full of wonder, and so curious about the world. I can't imagine.

I have not watched it on the news and I'm appalled at the media frenzy. I also feel very bad for the brother and father of the killer. None of them will find it easy to recover and go on with their lives.

December 15, 2012 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger The Village Queen said...

I so agree, people get hyped on other peoples drama, its a good way to ignore all the things wrong in your own life. I was a day late too, its so sad and nothing to be done from 2200 miles away.

December 15, 2012 at 3:59 PM  
Blogger WarPony said...

" It becomes pornography for the fearful shortly after. "

This so perfectly sums it up for me. I haven't watching ANY coverage of it.

December 16, 2012 at 5:17 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I think differently. The reason is complex. I am compelled to watch and feel and grieve and internalise some of the pain these people are feeling.

It is partly from a sense of my LUCK to escape this random fate so the payment is to put myself in their shoes for a time. Partly because a similar bad thing may happen to me later so if I look it in the face and acquainted myself, it may be easier to bear and I will be stronger.

I feel the same way about people who have cancer, which is a nightmare thought to me. I listen and cry and empathised with even strangers. I feel that there but for the grace of God go I.

December 16, 2012 at 1:40 PM  
Blogger KiwiGirl said...

Hmm, like one of your other correspondents, I'm not so keen on the "porno for the fearful" crack either - sounds a bit crass really. Makes light of a truely horrifying situation, one that should give everyone in the US a massive wake-up call about gun control issues.

December 16, 2012 at 1:54 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Pornography: (3) The depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction

From Merriam-Webster's Dictionary.

We are used to pornography meaning erotic, sexual, or taboo. But what it also means, and what I meant, was that definition.

December 16, 2012 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

No offense was intended. Nor do we have to agree. I respect all of your comments and opinions.

December 16, 2012 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger redbird said...

No lasting offense taken and I knew that was the context you meant, but still do not feel pornography in the form of some emotional fix is why most people take in news about this situation…at least no one I know does that. This tragedy hits home with many in a way it doesn't with others. We’ll agree to disagree and both send prayers towards Connecticut.

December 16, 2012 at 7:28 PM  
Blogger Adam Lazar said...

Thank you, Jenna

December 16, 2012 at 10:26 PM  

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