Riding Home

I rode Merlin for a few hours today. We were conquistadors! We traveled past mountain road, trail, and stream. We crossed a highway, trotted through hay and corn fields, and stopped to walk with neighbors and friends. Several goals were met in the saddle today, several bad habits healed and overcome. It was an amazing day on horseback, and in that photo above you can see the traveling we did together. I live halfway up that mountain on the right-hand side we are looking at. Merlin took me there.

I decided to leave my job and felt like my world was falling apart right when Merlin walked into it. I think if I was in a better headspace I would not have bought him, would not have even entertained the idea. But I was fragile, and felt that I needed him. Half a year later I am a totally different rider, different person. Much more has been overcome (and is being overcome) besides a fear of horses.

I didn't realize until I looked back at my actions and attitude how terrified I was of Merlin before I knew him. I was. I was absolutely terrified. I was scared to move above a trot in an arena. I was scared when he acted up. I was scared to do much of anything. I often think back to our first trail ride and how I was shaking until I was on him and we were walking down the road. When it's too late to worry, when is a thing is actually happening, worry becomes useless as gills on a land mammal. It recedes from evolution.

I rode Merlin back in March or April, or whenever it was, scared of a stranger. Today we worked as a team. It took lessons, patience, miles, guts, stupidity, encouragement, stubbornness, and love to make us work. It will fuel us indefinitely.