Monday, October 25, 2010

questions, suggestions, and advice please

Here is how I feel about yelling at people on the internet: unless know them personally: don't. It's like giving the stranger in the check out line at the grocery store a lecture on healthy eating. Just because you're both out in public, and his purchases are in plain site for all to see, doesn't mean you should comment on them. You can't possibly know the context. There are a lot of reasons why someone might be buying ice cream.

40 Comments:

Blogger daisy said...

It seems that self-restraint is often ill-used. daisy

October 25, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

I had this conversation recently with a friend of mine, and I'll tell you what I told her. When people decide to get all up in your face about something over the internet, 9 times in 10, it's about them going on a power trip. Trying to prove that they're wonderful and superior by putting you down, and doing so in an environment where they can't get caught. (In the sense that they don't have to look the other person in the eye and back up their rudeness with facts or arguments--I suppose one could look up their IP, but that's still not a face-to-face confrontation.) So, Jenna, don't let it get you down, it's just the behavior you get from small minds with big egos.

October 25, 2010 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

I hvae no problems whatsoever with corrections, advice, suggestions, questions, comments or such. One guy sent me a GREAT email about all the mistakes in the barn contruction and we were able to fix some stuff.

October 25, 2010 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger treehuggers kitchen said...

Very well put, Jenna. I have read some comments left by others lately, and I walk off thinking...why would they even bother saying that? If people are reading your blog JUST so that they can find something that they deem inadequate, and comment on it, what's the point.

And just to give you a little extra love, Jenna; I think you have many, many more people who adore your blog and would never think of turning it into a negative experience for you or themselves, than those who like to turn things the other way. just saying ;)

October 25, 2010 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Flartus said...

Are you familiar with the expression "care trolls?" These are people who are so obssessed with making sure everyone toes the line in regards to their own issues--animal care, child safety, offensive words--that they go totally overboard, completely losing any sense of perspective or respect for their target.

I've seen a lot of those people haranguing you in the comments. They're loopy, and for those types anyway, just remember they're totally disconnected from the real realities of life. They have nothing to do with your world.

And let me echo Treehugger's comment that your admirers FAR outnumber your detractors. Go ahead, sit down and do a support vs. criticism count of your comments. The cold numbers will show you that the finger-shakers are in the minority.

October 25, 2010 at 1:57 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

I'm a newspaper opinion columnist by trade, and something my first editor once said to me has stuck with me all these years: "Only someone with no character has no enemies." Express an opinion, take a stand on anything, and you will find people who just can't stand how you think or how you live, and will tell you all about it. It comes with the territory of writing in any kind of public domain, Jenna. And yes, it's worse in anonymous settings such as the internet, but it just comes with the biz, regardless. Get a thick skin and remember everyone who opens a vein and bleeds real life into the printed word is going to face detractors. You are in good company, so don't worry too much! : )

October 25, 2010 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

I totally agree.

October 25, 2010 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

I read every post, and admire you for how you're living and wish I could do the same. Hang in there and ignore the trolls.

Debbie

October 25, 2010 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Just catching up on my reading. Looks like you are doing great! I'm so excited for you. The CAF CAS looks amazing and maybe I can catch the next one. :)

October 25, 2010 at 2:58 PM  
Blogger Gail said...

I love the fact that you don't "sugar-coat" your experiences it makes you more real, more love-able and more readable! I find inspiration from every blog even though I'm a city girl and will likely always be one.

October 25, 2010 at 3:04 PM  
Blogger HomesteadDreams said...

Jenna,

I'm so sorry that people feel justified in spreading ill-will and anger. Remember that your readers don't own you. We're grateful that you CHOOSE to share your life with us in such interesting and inspiring entries, and I, for one, feel indebted to you for helping to keep MY homesteading dreams alive, just by sharing your trials, triumphs and poetic words.

It seems to me that a few (thankfully very few) of your readers misunderstand what you are about. They think you OWE them something- forget it. Let it roll off your back. And if you can't, your other supporters and I would be happy to form a posse and go beat people up for you! :D

Love and hugs from a dedicated reader, infrequent commenter.

October 25, 2010 at 3:37 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

Teri Conroy, who writes the Farmlife blog for the Times Union, has the same experience, and sometimes writes about how painful it can be. Luckily, she keeps writing, and so do you, because the rest of us love what you write, and the world would be a less interesting place without your writing.

October 25, 2010 at 3:38 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

I think today's xkcd is relevant here: http://xkcd.com/810/

October 25, 2010 at 3:48 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Rude jerks will always be around. But you will always still rock, so what'll you do? :) The world seems to be loaded with know it alls that think everyone else is wrong if they don't do something 'their' way. You are making the world a better place. by doing what you do.

October 25, 2010 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Penny said...

Some people are mean spirited and spiteful. Other folks have good intent but poor presentation. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two.

October 25, 2010 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Melanie J. said...

Sounds like learning how to sift the good from the bad...the useful from the "f**k 'em" comments. It may feel like a personal affront at times, but it's their issues, not yours, so make like your geese and let it roll off your back. Easier said, I'm sure, but your honesty is such a gift to those of us hoping to learn through you. Please remember how loved and admired you are.

October 25, 2010 at 4:20 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Hey. I don't comment often, but I read every day and I'm glad you're here. So. Let whoever that was look to the log in their own eye. Hang in there Jenna, and please god keep writing.

October 25, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Odd Ducks Farm said...

I find myself in a quandry as to how to respond. If I say how much I disagree with this faceless person who said such things, aren't I just passing judgment out of contect myself?

Now I have a headache. :o)

October 25, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger twistie said...

My mom and grandmother both told me If I don't have anything nice to say that I shouldn't say anything at all. My dad told me that there will always be people in your life that you don't necessarily care for but have to get along with, so do it. A teacher once told us never to deprive someone of hope as it might be the only thing they have left. And a friend told me in a situation similar to this, that opinions are like butts, everybody's got 'em and some of them stink! Recently a few of the local newspapers shut off comments to online news articles because of this very thing, people were just bashing each other and SO negative about everything, including GOOD news! I don't understand why in a world where so many people are hurting for a variety of reasons we cannot just take some of the above advice and try to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. I love reading your blog Jenna and even posts about your struggles and heartache are well received as it lets us know we're not alone in our own struggles.

And just a note to the Negative Nellies out there...

C'mon be nice! Everyone is dealing with something!

October 25, 2010 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Myrnie said...

I got a chuckle out of a recent etiquette column. When faced with a wildly inappropriate and critical remark, just respond with a bright "Thank you!" and walk away. Heh. The only problem with walking away is then you can't see their face! :)

October 25, 2010 at 5:02 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

There are a lot ofo news stories out there about online bullying and just plain rudeness that is a result of people feeling emboldened by the 'anonymity' of the internet. The folks who do it are the same people who wouldn't have the nerve to do it in your face, and they are probably the same people who would absolutely cringe if their mother knew what they were doing. Obviously, they have issues, and you shouldn't buy into them.

You could always moderate your comments so that if something looked like it was going to be unpleasant, you could just delete it as spam. When unpleasant people can't be heard, they tend to go away.

At any rate, I think you have far more fans than detractors, so chin up.

October 25, 2010 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger Affi'enia said...

I think that constructive criticism is a wonderful thing. But there is never any call to be rude or mean. That is a whole other thing.

I say ignore folks who are "yelling". It's your blog, you write whatever the heck you like!

October 25, 2010 at 5:27 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

I agree with pretty much all of the above. This is your space to say what you like. Farming is tough. Bad things happen, hard choices must be made, and sometimes you make choices because it's simply what you want. Friendly suggestions are one thing, but if someone feels compelled to tell you how wrong you're doing it, well, they can go write their own blog on the subject.

October 25, 2010 at 6:12 PM  
OpenID urbanadaptation said...

While constructive criticism certainly has it's place, as you suggest, the internets certainly have their fair share of those who like to yell, and I'm sorry some have yelled your way.

That said, while I know it doesn't exactly compensate for the yellers, I just wanted to say that I love your blog and take piles away from it, from the practical through to the inspirational.

October 25, 2010 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Stargazer 2 said...

JENNA,
DON'T STOP FOR ONE SECOND BEING JENNA, & WRITING THIS FABULOUS BLOG WITH A STORY LINE THAT IS WHAT A LOT OF FOLKS WOULD LIKE TO ACHIEVE, & DO!!!
I'VE REALLY BEEN RIPPED ON THE INTERNET, & DIDN"T QUIT, & I'M AT THE TOP OF THE HEAP ON YAHOO, & RUNNING SECOND ON GOOGLE IN MY NICHE MARKET!!!
THANKS TO YOU I PLAN TO WRITE A BOOK, & SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!
COULD SAY MORE; BUT A GREAT DEAL OF US PLAN ON READING CAF BLOG AS LONG AS JENNA CONTINUES TO
WRITE IT!!!
CHEERS WITH A HEALTH DRINK!!!
RONNIE A VERY HAPPY SEAT WEAVER
http://www.chaircaningdirectory.com

October 25, 2010 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger Chai Chai said...

Jenna, I left a question about how much hay you plan on using this winter back in your "Gibson lay down" post.

October 25, 2010 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I have also had the experience of having a nasty comment left on my blog with no apparently constructive things to say. My (more level-headed) husband pointed out that it is a tendency to not give feedback if you generally just enjoy what is being said and that trolls are going to try to stir up trouble no matter what. At the time, I made a little oath to try and remember to tell the authors of the blogs I often read and enjoy that I'm appreciating them. I often forget or "don't have time".

Today, I want to tell you that I read your posts on most days, sincerely enjoy them, sometimes gain inspirations from them, and stand on the sidelines silently rooting for you! Keep up the good work.

October 25, 2010 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger Sylvan said...

Well said, Jenna!

October 25, 2010 at 7:49 PM  
Blogger Harpy 101 said...

This is a bit Jungian, but I love the way Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes puts it: "Wherever there is beauty, the predator shows up,"

October 25, 2010 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Hey Jenna, I picked up "Made from Scratch" a few months ago and discovered your blog. I laughed and cried reading your book (I felt so bad for you when you left the queen bee in the box...but who knew?) and because of your blog, I've made homemade butter, learned I'm a "dabbler" and bought my first Mr. Beer kit! oh and I got a cheese kit too, just because I can!
I loved your post "i got your back, jack". Who knew there were so many dabblers out there just like me! It made me feel good .... not so spastic! So continue to entertain us and tell your story as you feel fit to tell it... I'm listening.

And just remember, the care trolls aren't living and enjoying life half as much as we are!

p.s. I learned the term "care trolls" from you blog too! Your blog is a good thing!

Cheryl

October 25, 2010 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Emma said...

I notice a lot of people on a lot of posts that really sound like they're just looking for a place to feel smart or more experienced than someone else. (They're not trying to actually engage, just want to pontificate.)

I guess I would just say that you're not obligated to respond to those comments. Really, I think it's OK to just let them go. You won't satisfy them by answering, because that's not what they want.

That's just my two cents. Keep being you, because you're awesome!

October 25, 2010 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Who cares what some people think.
As long as you are happy at what your doing, that's all that matters.

October 25, 2010 at 10:57 PM  
Blogger Tom Open said...

I had to look up if a female sheep could have horns, lol.

October 26, 2010 at 12:17 AM  
Blogger greendria said...

I love your blog. This post made me think: get whatever positive things you can from all these comments. And then when you get the negative crap: ignore, erase, fight back, basically keep doing what you're doing. I hate it when people say judgmental or derogatory things to you here. It gets me so worked up, I can't imagine how you feel. I find myself saying, "Who the heck do they think they are anyway?"

October 26, 2010 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger Summermelonfarm said...

We like you, Jenna! With or without your wonderful blog you have a good heart! :)

October 26, 2010 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger E said...

Sorry people can't play nice.

That's a great illustration you found for this post - are they Scottish Blackface sheep? Is that what you are getting?

October 26, 2010 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger dogear6 said...

One of the business blogs that I follow recently wrote about the same topic. The comments are a great forum for questions, giving advice, and sharpening each other up. I am mystified why someone feels the need to spew and destroy that.

Also - nice acknowledgement from you to the person whose E-mail helped you correct mistakes while working on the barn - that's what you want and need back from us.

http://rochellemoulton.com/unforgettable-blog/troll-spray

October 26, 2010 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

I think it has something to do with being relatively anonomous on line - like driving, many people step outside their "regular" personalities and some inner demon takes over, causes them to cut people off, honk and gesture, become aggressive. Seems to be the same on the internet. There should be a "pause and reconsider" button on all internet posts of any sort.

October 26, 2010 at 10:04 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Yup, getting five scottish blackface ewes.

October 27, 2010 at 6:28 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

My favourite fiction at the moment has this tough but soft and very nice female cop.

I've taken a leaf out her book.....when someone is negative, gives unsolicited advice or is plain mean, her comment is " duly noted", which I love. Doesn't mean you're going to take any notice, or get into an argument or feel stressed....it's noted and gone.

I agree with the other gazillion people.....more of us love you than revile you. Keep up the good work.

An Aussie

October 30, 2010 at 3:13 AM  

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