Friday, July 9, 2010

this will just take a minute

If you're a single man who isn't scared of livestock, I'd like to have a word with you. This will just take a minute.

I've been alone for a long time. I choose to be. I don't date for sport and get nothing out of bars, clubs, or online dating. But I am getting to a point in life where I'm starting to accomplish things I want to share with someone. It's a great feeling—buying your own farm and following a dream—but it feels less real without someone to lean against. By choosing to follow my goals like a workhorse with blinders on—I've learned how to do a lot of amazing things—but in all honestly, I've had a little trouble cultivating a social life.

However, I have managed to keep this blog and it's become a home base for my goals, plans, and dreams. So it only seems natural that I'd post a PSA asking one of you who fits this description to take this farm girl out on a date.

Yes. I'm serious.

I'm not tall, thin, or particularly attractive. I'm over-educated, under-paid, and my savings account currently rivals a fast-food paycheck. I have a lot of faults and I make a lot of mistakes. But despite all that: I really do have good intentions and try to lead a healthy life. I can jog a few miles at a good clip. I've read some swell books. I can keep up in a conversation about analytical continental philosophy but I'd rather be herding sheep. I capable of crawling uphill when something matters. I take crisis in a panicked stride, but a stride none the less. I'm good at resolving conflict, I subscribe to logic over emotion, and I'm serious about composting table scraps. I can grow you breakfast and a sweater.

I want to know a man who only says my name when he exhales.

I want to play music with you. I want to brew homemade beer and wine in August and then get drunk with you on it during a Halloween bonfire kept stoked by stories and a string band. If you are drawn to fireflies, mountain streams, stringed instruments and are more excited to watch a Thunderstorm roll in than the series finale of LOST, please consider me. And if you're not 100% country, that's even better. I want to find someone who will go with me to concerts and art galleries, listen to authors read to us, listen to 70's punk on my record player, and ride rollercoasters all over the east coast just for the hell of it. Someone who demands the occasional guilty pleasure like Pizza Hut during a Buffy marathon on a Tuesday afternoon we both called in sick. Someone who drinks coffee. A lot of coffee. Demetri Martin, Jon Stewart, and Joshua Jackson may move to the front of the line, but I'm pretty sure they're all with girls who don't ever have to worry about pulling lambs out of ewe orifices...

I'm not particular about looks, age, hair, eye color, or any of that impermanent garbage. I am interested in someone who likes to think as much as he likes to laugh. Someone with sharp wit, clever observations, who drinks dark beer and displays darker humor. Someone who feels most content when he's accomplished something he set out to do. It could be as simple as mowing the lawn or as grandiose as building a barn, but someone who shares that sense of satisfaction in shared work and can revel in the simple relaxation of hard cider and stringed instruments when that work is done. Someone who feels more alive on the back of a tractor or quarter horse. Someone who can grab heavy oxen by the reins without shaking. Someone who doesn't think teaching a goat to backpack is mildly insane. Someone who considered making cheese, reads books, and loves swimming holes (yet hates swimming pools). Beards are not necessary, but encouraged. Civil War buffs make me weak in the knees.

Selfishly, I want to know someone is keeping an eye on me, making sure I don't get hurt or do too much. I want someone to be out there with me when the lambs are born, his arm around me because I ran outside with Gibson in a fever, forgetting to grab a jacket. I want him to realize I'm cold before I do. And I want him put his hand on my shoulder when those same lambs are taken to market. (I want him to eat the lamb chops too.) I want a partner. I want him to love October more than anything.

For what that's worth. I make a damn good pie.

So if you love dogs, like dirt, can't help but make music, and think you could tolerate me: send me an email. It's a long shot, but most things are.

I am aware that this is mildly pathetic. Maybe it's the whole birthday thing causing this, but I have learned you only get things in this world when you ask for them. I know putting myself out there like this is just asking for ridicule. Please don't judge too harshly. I may or may not respond to any emails (if I get any, that is) based on how foolish/lame I feel in the morning. But if you are reading this and aren't the guy in the post, maybe you know someone who could be, feel free to share it.

119 Comments:

Blogger DarcC said...

I wish I had thought of this first, 'cause it would be on my match profile already.

July 9, 2010 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Justine said...

Its not pathetic its brave and I applaud you for putting yourself out there like that. Good luck in your search I wish you all the best!

July 9, 2010 at 4:28 PM  
Blogger DarcC said...

And I really hope it leads you to a good person. Or leads a good person to you.

July 9, 2010 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Flartus said...

Y'know, it just might work! Of course, you'll have fifty-eleven people out here in blogland following every step of your relationship.

July 9, 2010 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger ionarobot said...

This was perfect and beautiful in every way.

July 9, 2010 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger DebH said...

well...you've written all about my soulmate....I too now wish for that very person. Seems my husband of 20 yrs left this earth much too early and while we did many and we were looking forward to many many more of those very things, I finally have the courage to admit, I want all those things back!! Truthfully, all those things can come from one thing and that is the fact that he loves you, because after that ...he'll follow you anywhere and do anything! I know...I had one just like it. Keep your eyes open and You will KNOW...I guarantee it!!

July 9, 2010 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger google said...

Haha... Yeah maybe a touch pathetic, but way cheaper than Match.com and probably a WHOLE lot more potentially successful!!! You go girl!!!

July 9, 2010 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

I was out with a friend one night at local restaurant. While sitting at the bar the bartender was real friendly and funny. I told my friend that's the kind of guy I like. Two days later she said I think I know someone for you. I went out with him on a blind date and 20 years later we are still together - married 15. He makes me laugh everyday. Sometimes you have to let someone know what you want. Good luck. Peace.

July 9, 2010 at 4:50 PM  
Blogger April said...

Brave and fantastically written!!

July 9, 2010 at 4:52 PM  
Blogger Katrina said...

Ah Joshua Jackson. Sigh. :)

July 9, 2010 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger Poppy Cottage said...

I think it is a quiet want all us 'single' girls want. I just want to be someones someone special, as you said to feel those arms around you. To be held and feel so safe.

Good luck (failing that I bet Gibson gives hugs like my Lily does!!)
Send on your rejects!! x

July 9, 2010 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger disfordelicate said...

I agree with DebH, whose comment actually made me tear up because it contains so much truth. I have a feeling you're destined for success--I (a straight woman in a relationship) was getting ready to email you after reading this!

July 9, 2010 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger jenomnibus said...

Jenna, you're a CATCH! I love this description of who you're looking for - it's so real. I have no doubt that you'll find the right person. Perhaps you should put yourself out there a little more in the real world, too.... more hootenannies at CAF, perhaps? Draw them in...

July 9, 2010 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Good for you! Wish I knew that guy so I could help you out, but I wish you all the best!

July 9, 2010 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger Trista Hill said...

How brave and beautiful this is. Many of us are too scared to put down in words exactly what we want. You've done that and also shared it in a big way -- how can it not happen? You are so right in that one of the most important parts in getting what you want is asking. You're an inspiration.

July 9, 2010 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Joleen said...

Just 'putting it out there to the universe' will bring him to you!

July 9, 2010 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger Geek 3000 said...

I'd take you on a date! Except that I'm in Washington, and a girl, and married to a wonderful man with two kids. Other than that, you are soooo a catch! And there is absolutely nothing wrong or pathetic about telling the world what you want. We say it everyday with our smiles and dress and attitude towards life. You just write it prettier than most.

July 9, 2010 at 5:34 PM  
OpenID jessyd88 said...

Jenna, I hope you find your someone, you sure as hell deserve it. If I find any fitting men, I'll heard them your way. Takes some balls of steel for putting this up there. We're rooting for 'ya over here in our corner.

July 9, 2010 at 5:39 PM  
Blogger Summermelonfarm said...

Woah! He is one lucky guy! Where is he? Hurry up and find Jenna.

July 9, 2010 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Tami SouthStreetShabby.blogspot.com said...

YOU GO GIRL! Nothing wrong with asking for what you want and who better to ask than those who know you??
I'm agreeing with Judy (first because I know her and then because I see how happy she always is) that it takes someone you already know to connect you with someone you SHOULD know!
Good luck...and don't feel foolish...foolish is for those who spend hundreds of $$'s doing what you just did and hoping to have as good a result as you will...
**Tami

July 9, 2010 at 5:48 PM  
Blogger Aydan said...

I don't think this is pathetic, I think it's brave and beautifully written!

July 9, 2010 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Kathleen Stoltzfus said...

Well, all I have to say is... you go girl! Well put.

July 9, 2010 at 6:05 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

I'm now engaged to a man who was living 600 miles away from me and whom I had only briefly met. I sent him this message on facebook:

"When you come back to Chicago, I should ask you out on a date. Or, you could ask me. I mean, if you'd be up for it."

Smooth right? But hey, it worked. Good luck!

July 9, 2010 at 6:10 PM  
OpenID giftsofthejourney said...

I agree with the masses here ... there's nothing wrong with asking for what you want even in a romantic life partner.

Do you have any interest in men from the UK that might be willing to trade Cornish sheep farming for a life with a woman like you? Let me know and I'll make the introductions.

July 9, 2010 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Sylvan said...

Way to go! One must ask for what one wants!

July 9, 2010 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I need someone like that too, pretty much to a 'T'. :)

Good luck!

July 9, 2010 at 6:26 PM  
Blogger laura said...

I've often wondered why you are single. You seem like a catch to me. But, as I told my own daughter, sometimes men are intimidated by women that are capable and smart. I hope your "pitch" finds a suitable life partner for you!

July 9, 2010 at 6:27 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Jenna, I think this is lovely and, as others have said, I see nothing wrong with posting your desire for a mate. Networking isn't just for business deals, after all. Sometimes grand things can come from an off-handed remark.

Back in 2001, I was tired of being alone. Eventually, I said to my best friend, "I'm ready." She said she felt the air shimmer and crackle with energy at my statement.

The day after Thanksgiving in 2001, I was sitting in a Barnes & Noble and I said, "Okay, Universe, you've got 18 months to cough up my mate."

The guy who would become my husband showed up in my life a couple weeks later; we were married in October 2005.

That's made me a firm believer that it's always a good idea to let the Universe know what you want. Good on you!

July 9, 2010 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger Gelfling said...

So true that you only get what you want by asking for it. I'm afraid that I may have selfishly snatched up one of the few men in this world fitting this description, but should I come across any others like him they will be directed your way. I reposted this to my Facebook account, because you never know!!

July 9, 2010 at 6:35 PM  
Blogger Sparkless said...

Posting from a long time married person's perspective you have to be willing to compromise, and overlook his faults too as will he. Partnerships are all about compromise and being okay about it. Oh, and a bit of that something that just makes you attracted to someone even though you don't know why. One more thing, sometimes you have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince so be prepared to sort thorugh all the interested men who are sure to contact you.

July 9, 2010 at 6:39 PM  
Blogger Ohiofarmgirl said...

Oh honey - you are perfect just the way you are. NOT pathetic - great work!

Good luck!

July 9, 2010 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger Stargazer 2 said...

JENNA,
This post is a real "WINNER"
& will get the results you are looking for in every single way!!!
I think all of the post have
really captured my thoughts so I
will just continue to look forward to reading the CAF BLOG with all it's drama, & now this post with
this twist should really make it a must read!!!
CHEERS with a health drink, &
GOOD LUCK, & HAPPY HUNTING!!!
Ronnie

July 9, 2010 at 7:12 PM  
OpenID Stephanie said...

It's not pathetic at all. You're working magic here, darlin', sending out to the universe the energy to embody what you want. The power is in the naming, and it will bring good things to you. They may not be exactly what's listed here, but the essence of it will be. It may not even be anyone who's ever read this blog. It may be someone run into down at the store or at trials or broken down on the side of the road. You've named it. It will come.

It's what you've been doing all along.

July 9, 2010 at 7:16 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

OK, it looks like just us girls are commenting on the post. What do you guys think? As another single woman looking for my farm guy....way to go Jenna! It is difficult to find single men in a rural area. I hope your post digs up some urban dreamers lurking in the shadows. I know you say age doesn't matter, but if an old foggy writes, send him my way.

July 9, 2010 at 7:31 PM  
Blogger Kris Mo said...

He's out here somewhere... and when he reads this, his heart will stop. He'll read it again, just to make sure it's real, and then hold his breath while he summons the courage to reach out to the girl of his dreams.

Good luck, Jenna!
xo

July 9, 2010 at 7:35 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Jenna, this is my first time commenting on your blog, though I have loved reading your adventures for many months. Your post brought a tear to my eye, and a touch of envy. Tears at the sheer beauty of you reaching out and the similarities (with some differences) in our wish list. The envy, mostly overwhelmed by admiration, at how well you know yourself, and how clearly you know what it is you want, and are willing to ask for it. I hope you find that partner, and that you do it slowly, thoughtfully, and with the grace that is within you to find that perfect companion. Wishing you well!!!

Laura

July 9, 2010 at 7:39 PM  
Blogger MJ said...

Jenna, this is so sweet. how lovely to be honest and vulnerable.

i used to love being alone and living alone. but now i'm married. and at least once a day i'd say, my husband makes me laugh so hard and so spontaneously that i pee a little bit.

so yeah, put it out there. and if someone doesn't like it, well, they can just suck it.

July 9, 2010 at 7:45 PM  
Blogger doglady said...

Well Jenna if you get responses from guys who pass your criteria but are too old for you, 58-68, send them my way. Our criteria seem to be pretty close but I've got more age than you.

July 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I have started a post like this many times, but never had the guts to go through with it. Someday perhaps. I love this so much, but if I had to select my favorite part it would be, "I want to know a man who only says my name when he exhales." Sigh.

I believe in putting things out into the universe and that you don't get what you don't ask for. Outwardly I don't believe in love, but inwardly I secretly wish for that which you have put forward here. I too want someone to be witness to my life.

Best of luck to you!! Hugs!!

July 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM  
Blogger Rhonda Jean said...

Jenna, you're right, you have to ask. Even saying some things aloud makes them more concrete. You are one awesome woman - I even looked to see who Joshua Jackson is, I wouldn't do that for many people. There is someone out there for you though I doubt he'll comment, he quietly email.

So unidentified male if you're out there, silently wondering whether or not to contact Jenna, do it NOW! There is only room for one person in this unique girl's heart, delaying might lose you this significant prize.

Good luck Jenna. ♥

July 9, 2010 at 7:51 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

I was so hesitant to post this, but so many of you saying these things makes me think I have a chance.

thank you.

July 9, 2010 at 7:56 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

I thought I liked you from your book alone but your blog convinces me you are just so terrific! Someone take this fabulous gal for a night on the town - and honey, you are very cute from your blog pic and book jkt - don't you doubt it!

July 9, 2010 at 8:30 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

That was one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time...

July 9, 2010 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger The Beers said...

Not pathetic at all, Jenna! Beautiful and moving, more like. And, there is someone out there for you, know that in your heart and soul. Besides, you practically described my hubby perfectly! But you can't have him. :-P LOL

July 9, 2010 at 8:39 PM  
Blogger Alicia said...

Jenna, there is nothing wrong with this posting. You were honest - a trait one does not see much these days.

As a 30-year-old single gal, I understand that whole my-birthday-is-here feeling. And...to some extent, you have described my ideal man.

Best of luck.

July 9, 2010 at 8:43 PM  
Blogger Rural Revival said...

I don't doubt for one second that there is a guy out there wishing so hard that he could find a girl that would write what you just did. He will find you, just a matter of time.

July 9, 2010 at 8:49 PM  
Blogger Tora: said...

Damn it Jenna, you are a remarkable person. I wish we lived closer, you'd be part of my book club and my husband would lend you our rototiller in the spring and share the garden banquet with you in the fall.

We've never met and I feel like you're a best friend - you're brave and go after your dreams - god bless you!

July 9, 2010 at 8:53 PM  
Blogger black cat said...

just want to say jenna _whoo hooo for you! you are so right that if you want something you have to say it, and hey if its on a blog with umpteenth readers, the better your chances of striking gold dont cha think? with all your wit and honesty and hard core additide youd be hard pressed not to find a man who would love to stand at your side. best of luck to you n your adventures in man hunting. lots of love , chella

July 9, 2010 at 9:05 PM  
Blogger Debi said...

Beautiful post! What better way to meet the type of man that you want than on your very own blog where people who really get you will be reading it. Just remember that while it's great to have an idea of what you want, don't cling to tightly to it. When I met my hubby(who is very close to your description of the perfect man...too bad his brothers are married and nothing like him!)he was far from what I thought my soul mate would be. I'm just glad that he was smart enough, and stubborn enough for both of us! Now I can't imagine my life without him, he's my best friend. I guess my point is to be open to the possibilities, and the Universe will deliver just what you need!

Blessings,
Debi

July 9, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Dawn Dutton said...

You gooooooo Jenna... I wish you all the best in life.......

July 9, 2010 at 9:41 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

I Love this. You pretty much hit everything and more!!

July 9, 2010 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger small farm girl said...

Hey Jenna, are you willing to move to a 75 acre farm in KY? Then I might have the perfect man for you!!!!!!

July 9, 2010 at 9:46 PM  
Blogger Rois said...

Beautiful and brave just like you.
I wish I could clone my man for you,he fits to a T. I hope one day soon you become as lucky as I am.

July 9, 2010 at 9:51 PM  
Blogger Pat Woginrich said...

I'll start looking right away.

July 9, 2010 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

You are not remotely pathetic. I will look through my mental Rolodex for the perfect man for you. You are brave, and very lovely.

July 9, 2010 at 10:14 PM  
Blogger sahmeam said...

I have no doubt just declaring your desire will set things in motion. You'll be on the other side of this mountain before you know it, just like the farm purchase. Can't wait to hear about the journey!

July 9, 2010 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

When I was 28 I couldn't buy a date. I finally fit into my body. At one point my neighbor had a friend that was interested in me. A chick. I freaked out. I thought I was sending out some wierd vibes. I prayed and waited for the man that was meant for me. I waited and waited and waited. I found him because I didn't rush it and when I met my husband we were married 2 months later in Vegas. We have been married for 11 years and he is my best friend. Be patient and NO you are not pathetic. You are ready. God is busy getting him ready for you. Men take longer than us girls! So be patient and hang in there and NEVER SETTLE...

July 9, 2010 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger Sharon said...

well done you! pathetic? no. you have to ask for what you want...you'll get it when you least expect it. you go!

July 9, 2010 at 10:59 PM  
Blogger DVR Life said...

If I didn't live a couple thousand miles away I'd be sending you an email! Just one more reason I wish I lived up north.

July 9, 2010 at 11:12 PM  
Blogger Monique said...

That was brave. Vulnerable and sweet with an underlying strength echoing off your tough foundation. I wish I had it all to do over again. Good luck. Just remember, it finds you when you least suspect it...

July 9, 2010 at 11:22 PM  
Blogger SouthernHeart said...

Ah, Jenna, life is so short. I applaud you for taking the risk to reach out and hopefully meet someone who will enrich your life and share the wonders in this world with you. I pray he is a fine young man with a heart of gold and a finely tuned fiddle!

Blessings to you!
Dianne

http://www.patacakebabies.com/wordpress

July 9, 2010 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

my heart aches for you Jenna. I know that longing for a partner only too well. I found my husband after many years of singledom. We've been together for 8 years. Our relationship has it's ups and downs to be sure - it's hard to be in a partnership when you are an independent, headstrong, stubborn lady - but we are both committed to working through those valleys because the peaks are so worth it.

There's nothing "lame" about putting it out there that you are looking (especially when it is so well written!).It is a basic human desire and nothing to be even remotely ashamed of. You will find that special someone. He is out there.

July 10, 2010 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

Get yourself a book on Feng Shui (okay- borrow one from the library then) and get some cures going in the marriage corner of your house.

You don't want to be forty-one before you marry for the first time like me do you? I put mine in and three months later I was dating the guy I would marry eleven months later and this November we'll have been married nine years.

Do the Feng Shui thing- I tell ya it WORKS. And if you don't believe it, at least it can't hurt, right?

Good luck on your quest and be careful!

July 10, 2010 at 1:54 AM  
Blogger Manzanita Farms said...

Bravo Jenna. Your post is perfect. You have sent the universe the message and the wheels are now in motion. Another reader mentioned Feng Shui. Make sure you have plenty of "pairs" around your home. Happy pictures of couples, pairs of birds (they mate for life), etc. This enhances the luck of partnership. Can't wait to read about this great guy you are going to meet.

July 10, 2010 at 2:19 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

he will find you...

July 10, 2010 at 2:29 AM  
Blogger E said...

Don't forget your sense of humor.

Best of luck!

July 10, 2010 at 2:36 AM  
Blogger Harpy 101 said...

It is a beautiful post and it will work magic, but you are wrong about one thing: when you make a remark about yourself not being "particularly attractive". WRONG. After watching your dog sled video I said to my boyfriend, "She's cute!" And he replied, "Yeah!". Just an observation. Plenty of worthy guys will find you attractive and THEN SOME. Just don't settle. Hold out for the one who'd rip down a door for you. He'll be around.

July 10, 2010 at 2:54 AM  
Blogger Peacemom said...

Hey Jenna,
This post may or may not get results for you. But, I will say, I'm a firm believer in you get what you need in the right time. I know you're shoes, I walked in them, and it's really stressful to deal with life's challenges alone. I did it for a long time. After a really crappy 9 year relationship, I swore off men for a while, spent a bit of time alone and then when I started a new job, I found him. He's cute, funny, plays bass, brews and drinks dark beer (though I don't), is dear and cares for my heart like no one else in my world ever has. BUT, he did not come into my world until I had "dug in enough dirt" in my own life to make the place for him to appreciate him. And I believe we are given that person when we do the internal work to make room for him. We are not a perfect match, but we were interested in enough of the same things to grow many more interests together. I guess I'm saying, you're either there, or getting pretty close to sit back and recognize, you're ready. And he may not fit all those criteria, but the most important things you'll figure out and let the other ones fall away. I wish you the best of luck in finding your man. You're an amazing woman, now just hoping the man who will match you is not too shy to open up his world to you. Good luck, friend!

July 10, 2010 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Peacemom said...

Oh, and Jenna, I feel I should also say that I was 29 when we met, so perhaps it will be a good year for you, too!

July 10, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I'm with Debi; I didn't recognize my husband when he showed up, but he knew me and wouldn't take no for an answer. He doesn't love my chickens, but he loves that I love them, so much that he spent our 17th anniversary building them a dug-in fenced pen. Without complaint. Keep the faith. Spirit sometimes moves slowly.

July 10, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger boldaslove said...

This line:

"I want to know a man who only says my name when he exhales."

is beautiful.

July 10, 2010 at 8:47 AM  
OpenID safirasilv said...

If you wanted a lady to share your life, you'd be all set, because it sounds like we're all half in love with you already, even the straight ones. :-)

Teasing aside, I wish you luck and love. You never know when the right person will wander into your life--I can say from personal experience it's probably someone who's already there.

July 10, 2010 at 10:09 AM  
Blogger Farmer's Daughter said...

I wish you were in CT I would fix you up with my little brother! He's having such a hard time finding a girl like you! But he's not willing to move off our family's farm, and most girls in CT just don't get it.

July 10, 2010 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Farmer's Daughter said...

Okay not to pimp out my little brother or anything... but if any of you ladies are from CT... here's some shots of him teaching my son to drive a tractor... http://farmersdaughterct.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/hay/

July 10, 2010 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Safire, I'm sure he's not.

July 10, 2010 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Reason's Whore said...

You'll find the right guy when your own house is in order. That's the way it seems to work.

Good decision on focusing on sheep. It can be tempting to do too much, because animals are all so cool and fun. Working on downsizing a bit myself. The damned ducks just hatched their third clutch of eggs this year...they have got to go.

July 10, 2010 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Jenna! love reading your blog -honest observations and a joke now and then- and admire you for this. If you love, love will come to you! Jessica

July 10, 2010 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger John Taylor said...

Jenna,

Not bad! For those single guys that follow your blog they now know what you are looking for. Hope this helps you find your perfect soulmate. I have been married to mine for 19 years now and she asked me out all those days ago. So you keep taking life by the reins and you will get what you want!

Grace and Peace,

John

July 10, 2010 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger John Taylor said...

By the way....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

July 10, 2010 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I wish I were a boy. Or that we were lesbians. But sadly, we are both straight women, so I will just applaud you for your honesty and bravery. I hope and pray that this works for you, because you seem so deserving of the right partner. Best of luck! (And if you get responses, I hope you blog about them, hehe.)

July 10, 2010 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Chuck & Bonita said...

Let's see, you wanted a farm to call your own. You wanted a dog to help you with sheep. You wanted to publish a book. You wanted to touch people throught your blog. I think the Universe is very pleased with you and that perfect man is right around the corner and only needed to know you were looking for him.!!!

July 10, 2010 at 5:54 PM  
Blogger Norma from Misty Haven Alpacas said...

Happy Birthday, Jenna!
You are so honest and open!
You know exactly what you want in a man, just like in your life it seems and he will find you!

July 10, 2010 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger Aurora said...

Golly gosh I wish I could write with such honesty and earnestness. To be able to articulate what you want, let alone actually ask for it, makes you pretty fab. I am sure you will do just fine. I hope you get lots of emails!

July 10, 2010 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger Mud Mama said...

Damn woman...if only you were queer...and willing to move north to Canada...and I wasn't already in a relationship. I'd even bring us half way to a dog team with my Sibe Mica.

He's out there. You know I posted on lavalife a few years back and gave up on it pretty quick. A year or so later a goat farmer pacifist contacted me after reading my profile. I'd already settled down with a man who didn't know goats but was willing to get to know them.

He's out there even if he isn't EXACTLY what you had in mind.

July 10, 2010 at 7:41 PM  
Blogger Cathy said...

Jenna, Great idea. I will say that my son and two friends have had kismet luck with eharmony. All were brutally honest (just as you were) and all three met the love of their lives. Not too expensive and I have it on good advice, worth every penny. I have one of those wonderful men and I count myself blessed every day. Good and bad, all is made lighter with one to share with.

July 10, 2010 at 8:20 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

You are on the right track! I only met my husband after I bought a house and was a peace with my life the way I wanted it. I was 30... It was a blind date. Now I am almost 36 and we are going to move to a small farm next year with our 2 year old daughter!

July 10, 2010 at 9:22 PM  
Blogger Kristina said...

There are people (me being one of them) who truly believe that if you put your hopes/dreams/desires out there, the universe will respond. It's all about energy that flows through us and connects us all. I can't say how long it'll take (it took me a long time to find my partner), but it's worth putting it out there. And, even if it takes longer than you hope, waiting for the right person is definitely worth the wait. And in the meantime, putting yourself out there was incredibly brave and I wish you all the best and hope you find the man you're hoping for soon.

July 10, 2010 at 10:54 PM  
Blogger damnyankee said...

Wow Jenna. Great piece. Hey my Mom always said there's a lid for every pot. I know its corny, but its true. BTW: Happy Birthday. Just so you know sometimes blind dates work. I went out on one 18 years ago and we've been married for 16 years. We both have a strong work ethic & love our ranch life. I love how hard working and determined you are. That there's nothing you can't do. I only hope there are more young people just like you making a life for the themselves. One, that in my estimation is a life well lived.

July 10, 2010 at 11:28 PM  
OpenID greenearthgoodies said...

Atta girl Jenna - go get him!
Sending you wishes for new, lasting love! :)

July 11, 2010 at 12:06 AM  
Blogger kimberlyann said...

Well, 27 years ago I gave birth to your man. He is born to be outside, extremely intelligent, a wit sharper than any I've known.
He gathers stringed instruments like berries, and brews his own beer.
You two may be too much alike!!
I gave him this link, but of course since it came from his mother, he may just roll his big blue eyes, which rest above his chiseled cheek bones.
Shameless, aren't I?
Jenna, don't lose hope. I married a citified engineer when I was thirty. He bought me ten acres and built me pastures for goats and alpacas, chicken coops, garden fences, and so much more. We are so in love, and it will happen for you.
Now, to go pester that son of mine, I'd love to be your MIL!

July 11, 2010 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger crowjoy said...

This is totally going to work! :D

July 11, 2010 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger My Edible Yard said...

Far from pathetic, Jenna. Romantic and beautifully written. You made my eyes fill up with tears...happy tears.

Ara

July 11, 2010 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Why do I have tears running down my face? Could be because I am an over-worked, under payed server trying to put herself through nursing school in hopes of being able to more fully realize her dream of the "big farm" while living the "little farm" in her backyard, and I am so tired right now that everything even slightly touching makes me bawl :) But it could be because I am TOUCHED by the love and goodness of people! I read every response to your post. People ARE good :) You'll find your man, I know you will.

July 11, 2010 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

I agree with John Taylor. If you meet a man that appeals to you, and he's unattached, ask HIM out! Worked for me. If you're afraid of rejection, remember that guys have to deal with it all the time. Also remember, a lot of the men worth having are too shy to ask, or too nervous to tell you how they feel.

Incidentally, my brother is just your type (and your age). I'm pretty sure you're not HIS type, though, but I think he's been shopping at the wrong store, since none of the "his type" girlfriends ever work out.

July 11, 2010 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

Jenna, I passed it on to a friend, just because as I was reading it, he popped into my head. Geography sucks, but who knows.

July 11, 2010 at 6:04 PM  
Blogger South Brunswick Public Library Blog said...

I agree with everything everyone already said!!! Wish I had a friend for you just so I could visit! Best of luck!

July 12, 2010 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Russell A. said...

Refreshing, honest, refreshing, excellent.

July 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Blogger Grrl said...

I have forwarded your post to a friend of mine, who posted something similar somewhere once (sorry I sound so illiterate). Anyway, you never know where you will find a great person, and he might be willing to travel to see you. Who knows? Great post--I will subscribe to your blog.

July 12, 2010 at 11:00 AM  
Blogger quiltaholic said...

Your dream man sounds absolutely wonderful, and quite a bit like my brother (I'm not sure about the 70's punk music, or the theatre - but he already makes his own wine!). Too bad he's in Minnesota, doesn't own a computer (or want one, silly man) and is almost twice your age. I have always thought that he was born about 100 years too late.

July 12, 2010 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Meredith A said...

I"m 26 and in the same boat. I would suggest you DO start dating though. Take chances and while you will more than likely pass them up, you'll learn more of what you want, what you don't want, and what might not be as important as you once thought.

I date often but am never in serious relationships but have learned valuable lessons from every date i've been on, met some great friends out of it, and have different people to fill each of my voids.

One will weed, dig, and plant with me. The other can take me fishing. One will check out the beaver dams with as much interest as I have. The other doesn't complain but smiles when the dogs are on the bed. I'm not physically involved, but I put my emotions on the line, get to know them, and have found none are for me. All part of a package deal I hope to find. Is there such thing? maybe not. friends may always have to fill in the holes that a spouse just can't and that's ok.

good luck and i hope you find yourself opening up and trying a handsome mountain man on for size. there's never anything to be lost for trying.

July 12, 2010 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger Mim said...

Read your post and it made me think of Mindy Smith's song "Train Song"
It made me hopeful when I was still waiting for my fella to show up.

http://www.myspace.com/mindysmith/music/albums/one-moment-more-9510300

July 12, 2010 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Taryn Kae Wilson said...

I love your honesty! I really enjoyed this blog post. (I enjoy them all!)
I look forward to reading your future posts and hearing all about the new guy in your life. I'm sure some good things are on there way to you (including a wonderful partner)!
Much Love, Taryn

July 12, 2010 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger William said...

I wish I was younger and closer. I'd take you out.

July 13, 2010 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger amy said...

Jenna, I can so relate to the feelings of loneliness. I have been single for 5 years after my boyfriend moved out of our apartment. I don't own a farm or make my own clothes or food but I own a home and I struggle with home maintenance. I'm inspired by your independence. Good luck as you search for your life partner. I too, get weak in the knees for a civil history buff! XXOO Amy

July 13, 2010 at 12:23 PM  
Blogger Matt_Middleton said...

Sorry that you're feeling a bit lonely, but you've done a great job at outlining what you want. Good luck, and keep your spirits up - life can really surprise you, especially when it comes to love.

July 13, 2010 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger Bri said...

I just had to add my two bits to the cacophony of responses you've already gotten,

BUT.

don't give up! He's out there! I am like you in a lot of ways, and I found the guy you described last year, after swearing off men forever. He melted my heart, and we're getting married this Christmas Eve, He is the perfect guy for me, and I didn't think he was out there. but he was.

It is very very brave of you to post this request out there, and so eloguently it can't be pathetic!

your still my hero, I know your guy is out there somewhere looking for you!

July 13, 2010 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger The MO Farmers Daughter said...

I do not see anything at all wrong with this post,but,I can see you meeting someone at the farm suppuly store,strikeing up a conversation with them.Try to learn squaredanceing,and linedanceing,even if its with sr citizens,its makeing you a better person.thats what I always thought anyway,but,I am still single.If I was a man I would date you,I think you are awsome,but,I am an old woman...I think you are just too smart,most men go for dumb,My daddy told me years ago,to dye my hair blond,and get me some of those jeans that didn,t have pockets,and go to work in a factory,he said that I would have a husband in 3 days,he couldn,t grantee me what kind of husband that I would find,but,he could grantee me me in 3 days,I would have a man,I have always laughed about him telling me that!I did not do it,I should of...have a great day,and good luck,carol

July 15, 2010 at 12:49 PM  
Blogger The MO Farmers Daughter said...

Jena,I am a hairdresser and may I suggest blond hi lights,long layers,and biosilk oil,and a chi iorn to curl retro curls for that date.good luck.let me know how it goes,carol

July 15, 2010 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger The MO Farmers Daughter said...

e-mail me if you need more ideas about your hair,are you on facebook?,carol

July 15, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger heather said...

hey~~i just discovered your blog and i love it. you are a free girl. putting it out there like that is power. i am hoping with you that he with the beard or not who will know before you when you're cold comes your way somehow. just be on the lookout for very absurd ways for him to appear. it seems when i ask for things like this, i do often get them, but they arrive in the strangest strangest oddest ways. and are more beautiful than i could ever have dreamt up. so~~ after all that, is he already there? is he one of the dudes who helped fix the vents?

July 16, 2010 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Dad said...

Hey Jenna, what a great post, so honest, so refreshing. I have to say that it has inspired me to get off my duff and get out there. I,ve been alone for a while by choice as well. If I were a 100 years younger, I'd come a courtin! If you ever get to the highland of North Carolina, give me a shout. The best to you on your magical journey. Cheers, David

July 18, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
OpenID littlehousesouthernprairie said...

Jenna,

First time caller, longtime listener, and a micro-farm friend from across the interwebs...

I love this post and think putting yourself out there will bring wonderful things to you. Just one piece of advice, not that you really asked for it, but hey, this is the Internet:

Your list is a sweet, wonderful list, and the qualities here -- as much as I love them -- are largely (not all, but largely) superficial qualities, even if they are wholesome, farmy, dreamy superficial qualities. What you've listed is the stuff of romance novels, not real love. That's not a criticism. We all have our "lists." But real love is 100 times better than the romance novels, and you deserve it. What I'm suggesting is you consider making a list on what you want your relationship to FEEL like and MEAN, rather than what it should look like. This, no matter if he's the world's best sheep-birthing-assistant and star gazer, is what really counts.

My dream man was supposed to be dark-haired, a sweet academic type (professor or non-profit lawyer?), devout book reader, camping freak, lover of curries, probably from the Midwest, and had the desire to turn our honeymoon into a year-long backpacking adventure.

My husband?

Sandy hair. Very smart, but not a book dude. Loves the outdoors, but wants to spend the night in a cabin, not a tent. Southern-born and will eat Thai and Japanese, but not Indian. Has traveled the world, but wanted a one-week honeymoon and to save money for a house instead.

And I could not be happier.

He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and if I'd stuck to my image of the right fit for me -- my idea of Emily's perfect match -- I never would have seen how incredible of a partner this man is for me.

He's perfect because while we don't have total compatibility on stuff like campfires and writing (I'm a writer! He's not obsessed with writing! How did this happen?), we agree on what it means -- really, really means -- to be friends, lovers, partners, a family.

We agree on what we want out of marriage and how much we expect it to fulfill us; we agree on how we treat each other, how we prioritize each other. We agree on what fidelity means. We agree on what children need to be happy children, and we agree on how we want to raise them. We are deep, connected partners in the way my prior dark-haired, book-loving, curry-eating boyfriends (Lord, I tried and tried!) never were.

Your mate is out there. He will be amazing. He will light your world on fire. He will be better than you imagined. But don't pass him up just because he'd rather have a Bud Light instead of your wonderful home brew, actually is kinda obsessed with LOST, is nervous around that Quarter Horse, and despite being very smart, isn't totally sure what happened in 1865.

Best of luck to you -- I mean it.

Sincerely,
Emily

July 20, 2010 at 9:30 PM  
OpenID littlehousesouthernprairie said...

Jenna,

First time caller, longtime listener, and a micro-farm friend from across the interwebs...

(Blogger is making me post this in pieces)

I love this post and think putting yourself out there will bring wonderful things to you. Just one piece of advice, not that you really asked for it, but hey, this is the Internet:

Your list is a sweet, wonderful list, and the qualities here -- as much as I love them -- are largely (not all, but largely) superficial qualities, even if they are wholesome, farmy, dreamy superficial qualities. What you've listed is the stuff of romance novels, not real love. That's not a criticism. We all have our "lists." But real love is 100 times better than the romance novels, and you deserve it. What I'm suggesting is you consider making a list on what you want your relationship to feel like. This, no matter if he's the world's best sheep-birthing-assistant and star gazer, is what really counts.

My dream man was supposed to be dark-haired, a sweet academic type (professor or non-profit lawyer?), devout book reader, camping freak, lover of curries, probably from the Midwest, and had the desire to turn our honeymoon into a year-long backpacking adventure.

July 20, 2010 at 9:31 PM  
OpenID littlehousesouthernprairie said...

(cont).

My husband?

Sandy hair. Very smart, but not a book dude. Loves the outdoors, but wants to spend the night in a cabin, not a tent. Southern-born and will eat Thai and Japanese, but not Indian. Has traveled the world, but wanted a one-week honeymoon and to save money for a house instead.

And I could not be happier.

He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and if I'd stuck to my image of the right fit for me -- my idea of Emily's perfect match -- I never would have seen how incredible of a partner this man is for me.

He's perfect because while we do have total compatibility on stuff like campfires and writing (I'm a writer! He's not obsessed with writing! How did this happen?), we agree on what it means -- really, really means -- to be friends, lovers, partners, a family.

We agree on what marriage means, how we treat each other, how we prioritize each other. We agree on what fidelity means. We agree on what children need to be happy children, and we agree on how we want to raise them. We are deep, connected partners in the way my prior dark-haired, book-loving, curry-eating boyfriends never were.

July 20, 2010 at 9:32 PM  
OpenID littlehousesouthernprairie said...

(cont).

Your mate is out there. He will be amazing. He will light your world on fire. He will be better than you imagined. But don't pass him up just because he'd rather have a Bud Light instead of your wonderful home brew, actually is kinda obsessed with LOST, is nervous around that Quarter Horse, and despite being very smart, isn't totally sure what happened in 1865.

Best of luck to you -- I mean it.

Emily

July 20, 2010 at 9:33 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

just to clarify: the list is mostly surface qualities because I did not post for true love: just a date, just what I'm attracted to.

I also don't feel comfortable writing about love, not like that. I keep this superficial because i don't want to share that much about me online...

July 21, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
OpenID littlehousesouthernprairie said...

LOL well I'll have to call bullshit on that one, you wrote you want to share all your accomplishments with someone and you want him to exhale your name. Unless it's one hell of a first date, I think you really are looking for more than just a date, but a life partner and love.
That's OK, I understand flat-out saying you want love is scary, and dating is where love often (but not always) starts. Just keep in mind (not saying you should ever post it online) what you really need and want from a mate emotionally and psychologically. I've seen so many women -- smart women -- cling to a "perfect" guy with all the "right" qualities but who isn't a true partner in a very deep, core, life-beyond-sheep-farming sense. Best wishes to you on your adventure and I hope you find a fantastic man!

July 21, 2010 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Jenna - I don't think this post or your list is superficial at all, don't let anyone tell you differently. I came back tonight to reread this lovely post and the comments that have come flooding in after my original one. I'm a believer in outlining what it is EXACTLY that you want that way you recognize it when he walks into that farm supply store and into your heart. The universe has enough power to fill custom orders. NEVER SETTLE.

Out there somewhere in the Northeast is a guy wishing for you too. He just hasn't met you yet.

Hugs from NorCal. - Katie

August 8, 2010 at 3:53 AM  
Blogger Allie said...

Never feel pathetic about it! Your post made me smile because it reminded me a lot of the ad i out out on craigslist 2 years ago just looking for someone to hang out with. The only worthwhile response I got from that ad ended up becoming my husband this past May. So never feel embarrassed or ashamed about it, you know what you want and you're saving yourself about 2-3 days of wasted date time by putting it all out there. it takes courage to do that.

August 16, 2010 at 9:27 PM  

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