Saturday, March 6, 2010

hope and force

Spring is starting to hit Vermont, slowly but surely. The days are getting sunshine and creeping into the 40s. Snow is melting in the valleys and ice fishing is becoming an extreme sport. Mornings like this are met with frozen outdoor faucets and require hats and gloves—but my noon everything feels like it's trotting into spring. My farm-mind is on delay: knowing I can't order spring poultry or start staking out garden plans because of the coming move. But a delay doesn't mean pause. I think about what's ahead this summer constantly. Trying to map out plans for everything from hen houses to rotational grazing aparati.

Pablo Neruda wrote in the Song of Despair "Oh the mad coupling of hope and force...." That line is always humming inside me. While Pablo is writing about love, it sure as hell can apply to the feelings I have about finding my own farm. It perfectly sums up the emotional situation I find myself in now. Strung between wanting something so bad I can already feel my bare feet in the dark garden soil—and knowing the effort, expense, and grit it's going to take to get me there. Hope and force, indeed.

I'm starting to get excited and nervous about the Jackson farm. So far the home buying process has gone smoothly, but it's not a done deal until the USDA confirms the mortgage. As I write you, the loan is getting underwritten and the house has been appraised. All that's left to do is wait and hope all goes as planned. I should know within the coming week. Soon as I hear word, either way, I'll let you know.

17 Comments:

Blogger Duane said...

Jenna, things will turn out as they should. How's that for an ambiguous comment? Seriously, I have a strong feeling that the farm is going to be yours...and although you might not get 100 percent of what you want done this year....75-80 would be good, right?

You know what they say. Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans!

Best of luck to you! As I typed that I realized although everyone needs some luck, your determination will carry you through!

Duane

March 6, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

I'm waiting with baited breath. We've been pulling for you down here in the South.

March 6, 2010 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger aerogramme said...

hang in there ... and start planing this garden, at least your brain will be put at good use ....

March 6, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger granny said...

Hey Jenna,
I read every day,but rarely comment.May all your dreams come true :0)

March 6, 2010 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Eveland said...

Jenna,

We all have dreams, but it's up to you to be that force behind the hope. And you're.

I had the dream of home ownership for a while and it took me 3 years to find it.. I know forever. But I finally found a home, in the location that I wanted but most importantly that I can afford. I know it feels daunting. But 5 years from now you will be in your yard looking at your animals knowing that you've made it. It's your farm and no one can take you away from it. As long as you pay that mortgage of course.

Believe me I look at my yard lovingly thinking of the corn that I'm going to plant. The tomatoes, lettuce and all the delicious stuff that will grow there. Even if the damn squirrels eat the corn and the tomatoes.

Have a happy Saturday and start seeing it.

March 6, 2010 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Paige said...

Hmm...about love, eh? Wouldn't you say, though, that that fits your love for the "Barnheart" lifestyle? ;)

Keep us posted!

March 6, 2010 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

I'm so glad you posted this- I was wanting to ask you where we were with the loan, but didn't want to bug you about it.

My little farm on a quarter acre is coming along. Today I'm planting raspberries.

Soon, you'll be planting stuff that comes back year after year, because it will be yours and you'll be there to reap the benefits. Good luck!

March 6, 2010 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Melanie J. said...

Thank you for keeping us apprised of your plans. It helps inspire those of us for whom the small farm is still a dream. Crossing fingers for you...

March 6, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger 過分 said...

Unable to give you a heart. so have a reply to push up your post. ........................................

March 6, 2010 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger 開會討論 said...

thank you for you to make me learn more,thank you∩0∩ ........................................

March 6, 2010 at 8:14 PM  
OpenID Jackie said...

Hi Jenna,
I'm a city dweller trying to live simply and recording some of my adventures on a blog similar to yours. My friend recommded your book to me, which I will buy and read asap.
If you are interested please have a look www.last-legs.typepad.com.
Good luck with your endevours. It is so worth it!

March 6, 2010 at 11:01 PM  
Blogger susan said...

Hi Jenna, ever since discovering your blog, I devour it daily. Know that this Southern sister is pulling for you, and following in your footsteps soon -- have land, no house, in KY, a lovely 10-acre high flat plateau. You blog informs me of my life to come. Thank you so much!

March 7, 2010 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger E said...

what is your plan b?
only having your sights set on one property seems risky.

March 7, 2010 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger caramela said...

I just brought your book home with me! It is a real delight!
Thank you for such a lovely read!
Annamaria xx

March 7, 2010 at 4:26 PM  
Blogger Joleen said...

Jenna, I'm so happy because I know your own home will be yours very soon now. Better starting packing up boxes to get ready for that move - it's coming. I Hope you're having a peaceful and happy Sunday afternoon.

March 7, 2010 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger The Harris House said...

I have been following your journey for months. I am so excited for you! All will be as it should! My husband and I have a small plot of 9 acres. This year we plan to enlarge the veg garden. We have flowers and herbs and are awaiting our first flock of baby chicks. Would love to have more animals but need to go slowly as I am just a Long Island girl living upstate NY (somewhat clueless). Thats what my grown boys say. Reading your blog makes my heart sing! Being grateful for being given the bounty of soil, clean air and the simple pleasures are truly a gift in todays hurried life.

March 7, 2010 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger damnyankee said...

I know you're gonna get this. I can feel it in my bones. Hang in there. Make plans, keep busy. I'm sending all positive thoughts your way. GO JENNA.....

March 7, 2010 at 5:47 PM  

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