Tuesday, May 12, 2009

in defense of impermanence

Ever since I started writing about farming, I've always typed from rented land. In Idaho and here in Vermont—Cold Antler has always been built around someone else's mortgage. Because of this I occasionally get the comment (really, it's a warning) that it's irresponsible to raise animals and gardens in a place you may have to up and leave. That there is practical and emotional danger when you toy with impermanence.

They're right. I don't care.

I suppose the risk of this farm imploding is always there. My landlord could cancel my lease. I could lose my job, be forced to leave this all behind... I'm okay with that. I'd rather live exactly how I want to while renting someone else's land than putting it off till the day I can afford my own. It just seems like happiness suicide to postpone something as simple as salad greens because I don't own the dirt it grows in. If I did this gig by the book, I'd still be in an apartment in Tennessee. That life would be fine too, but personal velocity takes some grit. I'll take my chances and farm now.

I know that may come across as selfish. I don't mean for it to be. I just don't want to waste my time here. Even if I live another sixty years—it's all going to flash by in an instant. And while I'm still among the living I would prefer it be spent in the fine company of hooves and paws, gardens and hives, hammocks and guitars... Cold Antler Farm is nothing, if it isn't a personal manifestation of hope. You are witnessing the dirty seedlings of a possibility, people. Stayed tuned and watch it grow.

I keep learning that sometimes you need to ration happiness. Sometimes the things you want aren't yours, can't be yours, and you can either take that lying down or fighting. I learned this with so many signed leases, with a failed border collie, with tear-filled eyes as I left Knoxville and Sandpoint...

You can take things in this world as they come, or wait until the winds are perfect to act. I decided long ago that I would rather set sail in choppy waters than stay docked till things were safe. Waiting for safety is a luxury for people more in love with the future than the present. I understand the foolishness of this, but also understand poor sailors have better bar stories.

No, this land isn't mine. But the experiences I have created are. The taste of that first garden grown salad is mine. The feeling of a three-week-old goat kid drinking from a bottle in my lap is mine. The music I play on that rickety porch is mine. The memories, conversations, prayers, hopes, tears, births and deaths are mine as well.

I can't afford many things. But I feel wealthy here everyday. That is more than most people can say. I am grateful as hell. And if all this means I need to borrow happiness to get by, it's a concession I'll happily make.

This is what I am certain of: when you love what you are doing it belongs to you. You can pull the rug out from under this farm but it already happened, and if it falls apart in my sweaty hands, it will surely happen again. That is a promise.

76 Comments:

Blogger Melonie said...

Beautifully put.

May 12, 2009 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Little Ant said...

You are so right in your sentiments Jenna. Years from now you will never regret making your dreams a reality today instead of waiting for all the puzzle pieces to fall perfectly together.

May 12, 2009 at 10:32 PM  
Blogger Kathleen Stoltzfus said...

oh... well said, so well said.

May 12, 2009 at 10:32 PM  
Blogger The 4 Bushel Farmgal said...

Hello Jenna,
Do not listen to anyone who degrades what you are doing by the mere fact that your farm is rented. How many people raise children in rented homes and apartments? Does it make their lives less meaningful because they do not own their residence?
Do what you love and be happy. Live your whole life with dedication to that which you love.
Your critics may not agree with your choices but only you can know what is right for you.
Best wishes always and Keep the music flowing!
Carol

May 12, 2009 at 10:48 PM  
Blogger Rose said...

I think you state your case beautifully. A very good philosophy; good for you!

May 12, 2009 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger Jes said...

Thank you for that! I needed to read that today. I think what you are doing takes more guts than to sit by and wait until things are perfect...it will never be the perfect time, the perfect season. Just do what makes you happiest now.

May 12, 2009 at 10:55 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Geesh, this from people who typically live in a mortgaged home, a liened-to property, which no more belongs to them than your rented space does. Jenna, you are right about all the things that could happen. And the world could come to an end. But you created this wonderful life once. And you re-created it in another place - and knock wood - if you must move again, you will create it one more time if that is "el deseo del corazón."

May 12, 2009 at 11:10 PM  
Blogger Tami SouthStreetShabby.blogspot.com said...

Jenna, For one thing, I can not even imagine you being irresponsible. Nobody who cares as much about animals, land and who being the best person they can be, could possibly be considered irresponsible. You make a great point in not waiting for the 'right moment' to do anything. If you wait, you'll find more reasons/excuses for not doing (whatever it is). So, I applaud you for taking the bull by the horns (so-to-speak) and doing whatever it is that makes your 'boat float'! Tami

May 12, 2009 at 11:42 PM  
Blogger John from Taos said...

This post speaks to me. And it's a very good point you make about living NOW. None of us ever really "owns" land (or anything else) anyway, right? We moved from MD to NM about 10 years ago, and I still feel the loss of our old (purchased) home from way back then, since we've only ever rented in el Norte.

But ultimately, it doesn't matter. I can't take it with me. I told someone familiar with matters of the soul that I had finally had that HIT me with great force. The problem, however, was that I was still here, not on my deathbed. In other words, I knew it didn't matter, but I wanted it anyway! Arrghh. She replied,

"YES! That's the catch!"

:-)

May 12, 2009 at 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carpe diem! Don't listen to those who are waiting to maybe someday get the chance to do what you are already doing.

May 12, 2009 at 11:57 PM  
Blogger Miss M.J. Ma'am said...

You love what you are doing, and you are in the right place. That has to be the best feeling of all. Live it!!

May 13, 2009 at 12:24 AM  
Anonymous Annie said...

Excellently well said. We would all do well to follow your example and do what we love right now. So many of us are always waiting for the right time to begin.

Ingersoll said: "The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here."

What other time and place do any of us have?

May 13, 2009 at 12:31 AM  
Blogger quail feather said...

I really agree with this. I have just read your book and found it very inspiring. We are renting, in fact living under our landlords, and I just began planting seeds in flats in good faith, and seeing all our seedlings on our back step each day they spontaneously cleared an area of their yard for us. They grow tomatoes but I think they are impressed with all our various veggies and what we are doing with our small doorstep. I think we are not only having some fo the life we want NOW but inspiring others to do more with what they have, see their resources differently and that is also important. You are such an inspiration to so many, I hope one day I can also have chickens :)

May 13, 2009 at 12:57 AM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

You must be an old soul sent back here to lead us all in the right direction. Just the first thought that popped in my head when I read this. That and I agree that I also needed this little pep talk today. It reminded me of a quote that was painted on the wall of our computer lab in high school, and it always meant a lot to me, spoke to me you might say:

A ship in harbor is safe--but that's not what ships are built for. John A. Shedd, Salt from my Attic, 1928

Again, the sailing analogy. But its true. So true.

May 13, 2009 at 1:20 AM  
Blogger littlegreengardengal said...

Nothing in life is ever 100% for sure - nothing. Whether you rent, pay a mortgage, or own land outright, it could all disappear for one reason or another. All you can do is live each day one at a time, and try to make it the life you want to have and look back on. Good for you!

May 13, 2009 at 1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said it, lady!! Keep on keepin' on. :)
elsie

May 13, 2009 at 2:05 AM  
OpenID lovestitches said...

I just read your book after stumbling across it at the library (I'm planning on buying a copy don't worry) and was like oh yeah, ANOTHER DIY lifestyle book where someone owns a farm. The fact that you rent was what really made it click for me. We renters can have that life too :-)

May 13, 2009 at 4:38 AM  
Blogger Karen L R said...

Hey Jenna,

I'd say you OWN YOUR LIFE and in this day and age, that's a clever trick and very cool!

Keep on keepin' on.

KarenLR

May 13, 2009 at 6:28 AM  
Anonymous Nikki said...

Happiness can't be bought, though heaven knows the daily bombardment of advertising tries to convince us it can.
Happiness is earned. It's as much a choice founded on integrity as anything else. Your choices are rich and compelling: she who has enough, and knows it, is wealthy.
So here's to a long life of abundance and sweat and joy and loss, and all the other things that make a life worth living.

May 13, 2009 at 8:32 AM  
Blogger carri said...

I love this post. There are so many things in my life that I would not have right now if I had waited for the perfect timing. Life is meant for living, not waiting.

May 13, 2009 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger LisaZ said...

AMEN! I love this "Waiting for security is for people more in love with the future than the present." That should be quoted far and wide! Put it in your next book, Jenna.

We feel wealthy every day, too, even though we make on the far lower end of the middle class scale. It's all about perspective, and living your dreams right now regardless of money. (And no, that doesn't mean going into debt for it. Make your dreams not about money...)

May 13, 2009 at 8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's your life, you have to live it according to your own morals and not anyone elses

pgrass101

May 13, 2009 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger J and J Oxrieder said...

Beautiful.

May 13, 2009 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger finsandfeathers said...

Jenna,

I have a son your age so this is written from the perspective of someone that’s made a few more,” trips around the sun.” I hope you realize that the greatest achievement of Cold Antler Farm is that you own the dream, the inspiration and the passion to do your part in changing a really broken way of, I don’t even want to use the word living here, a broken way of existence in this messed up modern, urban all consuming society. Cold Antler Farm has no property lines, boundary markers and can’t be billed for taxes. Cold Antler Farm is a promise that lives across many states, probably a few continents and has ignited change in folks to make their lives, their family life, their communities and their world a better place. Cold Antler Farm is a growing community of people that embrace a better way of living. Cold Antler Farm lives in the hearts of a whole bunch of folks. What you have accomplished is much bigger than paying rent or paying a mortgage. All this without my first cup of coffee.

May 13, 2009 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

so beautifully put...i couldn't agree more!

May 13, 2009 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger fischbutt said...

Dear Jenna,

And who thinks you don't have the right to nourish and cultivate the land? Forget them as what you are doing is beautiful and I congratulate you on your dream, desire, and effort.....fischbutt

May 13, 2009 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Sarah Rachelle said...

And that is why you're such an inspiration. Thanks for writing that!

May 13, 2009 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

We're doing the same thing - renting our farm. We intend to buy it, but something could happen, who knows? I don't see how it's selfish to do what you're doing. The worst thing that will happen is you'll either sell your animals or move them with you, and abandon your garden. But maybe you wouldn't be abandoning it so much as leaving it to the next person? The idea that you shouldn't do anything on a rented property is just ridiculous. We owned a house in town, put lots of money and effort into fixing it up, then moved out. We can't take all that with us, but it wasn't a waste.

May 13, 2009 at 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Carl said...

A great many acres of farm ground are rented. It may well be that this particular piece of ground, is your training area, and giving you the ideas for a permanant place. As such, while I would encourage anyone to own, the rental should not be discounted.

May 13, 2009 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

You have to live your life as it happening not what you want to do in the future. You go girl. You are living your dream. I wish I had the confidence you have when I was younger. I now take advantage of anything that comes my way.

May 13, 2009 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger Coriolis said...

This is so beautifully put that it raised goosebumps. I have been through two downgrades in my own homesteading dreams in recent years, the first involving giving up a burgeoning farm with goats, chickens, and a couple of bizarre yet endearing alpacas. I was able to keep the chickens and rebuild the vegetable and herb gardens in my new situation, but was recently forced to make the difficult decision to give those up as well to make yet another move, this time to a place where the most I can hope for is a few container gardens.

I recently started reading your blog as therapy, because you are almost EXACTLY where I had hoped to be by now. Down to your choice of musical instruments, in fact. :)

I was renting, too. But neither of the transitions I had to make had anything to do with the rental situation. I would have had to make those moves even if I had been the mortgage holder. Permanence is relative, and the perception of impermanence is a matter of perspective. My dream's still alive through all of those losses, and reading about you living yours, and unashamedly staring down the fears of "impermanence"...it's worth the homesickness I feel when you post pictures of that adorable baby goat and his darned fuzzy nose.

May 13, 2009 at 10:54 AM  
Anonymous Kandy Gray said...

hell ya! i am not as eloquent as you are, but you are living a life that so many dream of but are scared to grab ahold of. so many forget that the best things in life aren't THINGS. you go girl. and what is up with the duck?

kandy from Canada

May 13, 2009 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Jennifer and Steve said...

Thanks. jak

May 13, 2009 at 12:00 PM  
Anonymous Rita said...

Very well said! Everyone should have the courage to flow their dreams. I think those who criticize this are just afraid of flowing their's.
I do alot of volunteer work in animal rescue/welfare. From what I have seen over the last 5yrs - It does not matter if you rent or own land and have animals. What is important is that you care for the animals and treat them humanely. You definitely do!

May 13, 2009 at 12:17 PM  
Blogger sferrando said...

Wow. Thanks for this post. I tend to sometimes live in the future, but your post reminds me to stay focused on the here and now. My husband and I own our house outright which has allowed us to easily weather the recent storm of his layoff and going back to school full time to get his Electrical Engineering degree. We live quite comfortably on my income. I keep thinking about our future and where we'll be once he graduates and is able to get a job anywhere. Maybe staying put IS our future. I know we can definitely be happy where we are at and even add a couple more animals to keep our 5 hens company. We already grow a large garden every year and also make our own wine out of Merlot grapes. Life is good and I must remember that. Thanks!

May 13, 2009 at 1:03 PM  
Anonymous AmyKortuem said...

By God, but this is advice to live by. Good for you. And good for us, that you told us this. Inspiration for my own life. Amen.

May 13, 2009 at 1:08 PM  
Anonymous Frances said...

Wow. Right on. You're such an inspiration, Jenna.

May 13, 2009 at 1:36 PM  
Anonymous AmyKortuem said...

OK, so I just read this again and now I'm crying. Out of relief that somebody finally named what I've been going through foryears. Out of joy with the freedom it brings. Thanks again, Jenna.

May 13, 2009 at 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Georgia said...

As a Vermonter who has been searching for a first house that would be suitable for a small farm, I agree. The real estate prices here are astronomical and there are many of us who make good money and still can't afford a decent house. We could spend our entire lives waiting to be able to afford to buy.

May 13, 2009 at 2:16 PM  
Blogger wendita said...

Well said! I think I'll keep this post... goodness knows those are words I need to hear when I hesitate on pursuing what makes me happy only because it might be the more difficult path. Thank you for the inspiration :)

May 13, 2009 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger Darx said...

Bravo! If only we could all live with such abandon. You are an inspiration. Thank you.

May 13, 2009 at 2:59 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Thank you so much for this entry. I too farm on rented land, and I worry much too much about what would happen if ....

Your entry is kind of a spur as well, as I have contented myself with my little farm, which is exactly what I want, but not WHERE I want. After I retire, I tell myself, I can move someplace where there are not periodic smog advisories. This is not the time to move, I tell myself, in a recession. But I wonder....

May 13, 2009 at 3:03 PM  
Anonymous dwr said...

Very well said! You are absolutely right, and are living the life most of us wish we could be! Keep up the great work.

May 13, 2009 at 3:03 PM  
Blogger megan said...

I am "farming" rented and leased land as well - I too just can't wait to live any longer. We're right - they're wrong!

May 13, 2009 at 4:20 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Jenna--beautifully put by a beautiful young woman. People who attack your exuberance for life and living your dream are just afraid to take a chance to live their dream. I'm older than you and had more life experiences--don't wait to live your life, you'll find yourself looking back with regrets for roads not taken, dreams not lived. you'll find that life happens regardless of whether you're chancing something or waiting for the right moment--you're right to seize everything life has to offer. Everyone has regrets, but I'd rather have a regret about something I tried that maybe didn't work out like I wanted, than something I wanted but was too afraid to try. Jenna, sometimes you are just downright eloquent. Mimi

May 13, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Leiflet said...

Let's hear it for the poor sailors! I've noticed that people are much more comfortable with criticizing others, than with making themselves uncomfortable. I stopped caring.

May 13, 2009 at 5:00 PM  
OpenID chickadeeworkshop said...

Oh, I have had such a bad day at work and this is the first thing I read when I got home and it made me soooo happy to know that there is someone(probably many someones) in a younger generation that "gets it." My daughters are just a tad older than you and I wish they had your wisdom. (Heck, I wanna be like you when I grow up and I'm 58.)

I'm trying to apply the same philosphy to my own life, because I keep saying, "when I retire, I'm going to........" My retirement is four years off and who knows what could happen by then, right? Right.

Your post was perfectly said and I agree with all the positive commenters ahead of me. You go, girl!

May 13, 2009 at 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Carol said...

You go, girl! I am behind you 100%! Nothing good in this life comes without risk. Your life is yours to live, and you gotta do it the best way you can.

May 13, 2009 at 6:26 PM  
Anonymous Bette said...

I am so proud of you. I did the same thing for twenty years and truly, now that I have my own soil I do not love it any more than my little farm on the hill. I am very, very, proud of you.

May 13, 2009 at 7:07 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Very well put! Ignore those people who make those comments..they are jealous!
They want what you have but can't because of their big bills.
Live for today because only He knows if you get tomorrow!

May 13, 2009 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Gardengurl09 said...

You said it all, Jenna. If you wait for the perfect time to do something what you invariably find is that the perfect time never comes. Life is meant to be lived today.

May 13, 2009 at 10:13 PM  
Anonymous RayMan said...

Your post was very well put. As a "senior" having a great many regrets, I can say this - "life is what passes you by as you are busy making plans".

May 14, 2009 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Thank you Jenna for your inspiration every day. Enjoy your life like you do, after all as you wrote, it is YOURS!!! Thanks again. :)

May 14, 2009 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger K. said...

Hi Jenna,

I just came across your blog a few days ago and have gotten hooked. I'm really in awe of your ability, at your (relatively) young age, to understand what so many of us take years to figure out. Your flavor of seizing the present does not smack of irresponsibility to me, it's more of turning hurdles into opportunities. I do feel that you really are blessed to be able to live your dream, as one who has had her dreams severely derailed by children born with major medical issues. But this too is a blessing and it just helps us find patience along with the longer and more winding road than we expected. We will all get there striving. Just bring lots of water. So here's to you, fellow traveler of the seven mile shoes.

May 14, 2009 at 10:09 AM  
Blogger djp said...

Jenna, I couldn't agree more! We can't all be owners, and it is those who say that you have to own to live your dream who are being selfish.

May 14, 2009 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

By the sheer number of comments of support, I would say its confirmed; your heart is leading you in the right direction. I'm in a similar situation but my "landlord" is my ex so its a bit sticky. Dont know how long Me and my 13 milk goats, 5 hair sheep, 45 hens, 1 Llama 4 dogs and 6 cats will have here but every day is a gift, here or wherever I (we) may end up.

May 14, 2009 at 12:51 PM  
Anonymous Marguerite said...

Jenna,

I started a vegetable garden in my Montreal suburb backyard. Do I have to wait until I get a farm land? NOOOO! We do the best we can to be happy where we are. I don't care if your land is rented or if you live in the country or the city. I just wish to see more people eating from their gardens and having chicken in their backyards. Are they more a nuisance than my neighbour's dog who barks all the time? Enjoy your farm, enjoy your life and live one day at a time. You inspired me to start growing my food and I'm grateful for this.
Reading you is a pleasure and an inspiration. If you visit my blog I just posted a proof that you can find wildlife just about anywhere!

May 14, 2009 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger Sharon Delman said...

Well said! Congratulations to you for living life fully.

May 14, 2009 at 2:18 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

You are so right! There are several people right now in my life who think what I'm doing (and about to do) is crazy, but I've been hearing this my entire life. I swear I was switched at birth sometimes. You keep doing what you're doing. As you can see by the comments you are touching many other people's lives. The nay-sayers should just be ignored.

Don't let this get you down!
Rhonda

May 14, 2009 at 3:55 PM  
Blogger Rhonda Jean said...

I am a choppy water sailor too. I have never seen the sense in postponing anything until its perfect time arrives. That may never come.

As ever, a thought provoking read. Thank you.

May 14, 2009 at 5:36 PM  
Blogger Michael Glaviano said...

My goodness.

As someone, just wrapping up his sixth decade, who always played it safe, always did the "right thing", always waited until everything was organized perfectly, I must say that I admire your approach.

I have learned and experienced and enjoyed a lot of things, but so many years have passed while I postponed dreams.

You are doing it just right. You are learning as you go. You are writing the best of songs.

Keep on.

May 14, 2009 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger SWEETHEARTS MOM said...

I love that there are 61 comments in here. I am not taking the time to read one of them because I am on my way out to the garden myself. But I can tell you this from a former landlord. How cool that you will/may leave that property better than you went into it. And guess what. We never get to take it all with us. Even when we own and then sell. You GET to leave behind treasures for the next people who live there. The granny smith apple trees I planted in the center of my orchard were not planted for me but for the nest people who live here...maybe their kids or grand kids will find that an apple tree is the best place to hide in the summer.

Remember what you get to take with you though. SKILL. The things you learned here on your own are priceless. No matter where they are learned. And self confidence...that all by itself is priceless. If you do leave you take what you can, pass on the rest and move on. It's nice. Keep a strong head and heart.

May 14, 2009 at 6:23 PM  
OpenID journeyseeds said...

wonderful....everyone should be so inspired to take such care of the land and their life...when in actualilty none of us "owns" our land.

May 14, 2009 at 6:37 PM  
Blogger Shona~ LALA dex press said...

I am completely dumbfounded by someone thinking you are being irresponsible. Having spent 9 years of apartment living in Tennessee and postponing even a garden, I totally get it. No need to defend your life choices!

May 14, 2009 at 7:50 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Jenna, You are wise beyond your years! This post was SO beautiful and inspiring. I took the time to read through all the comments, so far, and you can see that everyone here loves you for what you are doing RIGHT NOW! I wish I had the guts to do what you are doing when I was younger. I am now, at 40, taking your advice. I am planting my first garden this spring, and will be learning how to can all that goodness in the late summer. I am, at this time, unable to have chickens and other animals other than my 10-year-old "puppy". I have the room, but my job takes me out of town for two or three nights every week.
You are such an inspiration to many, many people of all ages.
Keep your head up, keep smiling, and don't ever, EVER let the nay-sayers tell you that you are following the wrong path.
Godspeed, Jenna!

May 14, 2009 at 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

I look at the screen at all these posts, and you can feel the goodness radiating from everyone across the country and beyond! Three cheers and more for Jenna! I am totally inspired.

May 15, 2009 at 12:39 AM  
Anonymous Bonita said...

I read your book last week and loved it. You have inspired me to get material to make my first pair of drawstring pants and buy 2 tomato, 1 cucumber, 1 pea, 1 bell pepper and 5 assorted herb plants.

As an Elder, if I have learned anything in life, it is that you don't "own" anything.

May 15, 2009 at 4:35 AM  
Blogger ~ ~ Ahrisha ~ ~ said...

I just found your blog and love it that you are going for your dream! You write so eloquently about your life and I am enjoying every word. Have a great weekend
~ ~Ahrisha~ ~

May 15, 2009 at 11:47 AM  
Anonymous commonweeder said...

A wise posting, as those of us who have cast our little boats (sometimes filled with children and pets) into choppy seas can attest. I can wish you will have your own farm, but as you already know, whereever you are, that is your own. In the end, everything is impermanent. My doctor has a sign outside his office 'no condition is permanent' He is wise too.

May 15, 2009 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Your location may not be yours, but Cold Antler Farm is yours and yours alone!

May 15, 2009 at 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

I keep rereading this and coming back to certain points, and I couldn't agree more. Brilliant. Hope you don't mind, but I'm going to borrow liberally from this posting.

May 15, 2009 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger Greentwinsmummy said...

Holy Moly I am sat here deep in the Dorset countryside with wind howling around the cottage,a nice glass of red wine & the woodburner glowing yup its that chilly here & I have just read that & wept.
Wept because you somehow looked into my heart without knowing me & saw everything that was there & got it out onto paper x
We sold up & moved where we are now to rent & if I had a £1 for everyone that said oh.when are you going to get back on the property ladder..I would be a rich GTM :o)

I dont want to spend my life perched on a ladder,I want to be here,where I have landed.With soil under my fingers & chicken poop on my boots :o)
But its not yours is it,folks have said,most have thought.
Oh I wish I had been able to reply to those the words you have written here,no its not mine,nothings mine,the things that matter dont ever belong to someone.

Thankyou so much.
Thankyou so much x

When I am 89 I want to have great stories to tell,Every day is a story here,& thats so much more precious than being on a rung on a ladder.

GTM x x x x
whose postively cheering here
I have linked to you on my blog I hope you dont mnd x x

May 17, 2009 at 3:24 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

AMEN!

May 17, 2009 at 10:09 PM  
Blogger White Feather said...

The Journey by Mary Oliver


One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

May 23, 2009 at 12:45 PM  
Blogger White Feather said...

Hey there, I did have a comment with that poem I left you above and it got lost somewhere in the transmission. I meant to say that I found the poem on another blog ("Apples for Poppy Anne") and it reminded me of you. (Author duly noted with the poem.) Credit where it's due, of course. Anyhow, thought you might like it.

May 23, 2009 at 4:09 PM  
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December 31, 2009 at 2:28 PM  

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